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Break out the Ambien

We've read some weird, weird shit in the pages of the Village Voice over the years, but Jennifer Snow's roundup of bedside accessories takes the cake with an "Ode to My Crate & Barrel Carafe":

Oh, Crate & Barrel,
you've done the unthinkable?
what pristine design.
This is one for the ages!

The pages of Arch. Digest!Somewhere, Paige Rense weeps.
· Come To Bed [Village Voice]
· Bedside Carafe [Crate & Barrel]