What's In On Wall Street

Blogger winneroftheSAT is trendspotting in downtown Manhattan while passing out copies of his résumé. A small sampling of what he deems hot in Manhattan's southernmost hood:

-Nebulous pleated chinos.
-Saying to coworkers, ?Hey, where you goin? for lunch?? and ?Hey, where?d you go for lunch?? with sheer contempt and unfeeling insincerity.
-Handfeeding pigeons crushed Alka Seltzer.
-Tripping people who you deem to be walking too fast.
-An inverse relationship between the number of identity badges and the loss of self-identity.
-Shattered dreams regarding Midtown and the sadness that comes with not working there.
-Polar bear swims in the East River before work.
-Developing and maintaining an overall persona of lameness.