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On the Market: Fireworks Special #1

This Independence Day, you will watch the East River fireworks from a little patch of the FDR you reserved at 6 a.m., with sweat pooling in your fat rolls, beer from drunk tourists dripping down your spine, and nary a porta john in sight. Next Independence Day, you will watch from your sofa, with the A/C humming, Champagne chilling in the eat-in kitchen, and a lavishly appointed bathroom or three just down the hall. Asking $4.195 million.
· Listing: United Nations Plaza Condo [Brown Harris]