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The King is Coming to Stuy Town, and He Wants Blood

If you've been following the East Village Dumpling War (and if you havent, for shame) then you've probably noticed a little something about the branding battle: the logos at the center of this heated exchange are both, you know, pansies. Sure, the Dumpling Man tried to feign aggression with the little movie, but that wimpy little guy (gal?) couldn't strike fear in a bed-wetting infant on acid. However, if you like your stuffed doughy lumps personified and slightly demented, Kevin?yes, Kevin?has the news you've been waiting for:

I saw that there may be a third interloper in the area. Although not technically the East Village, there is Bruno the Ravioli King moving in on 1st avenue and 15th St. He is the self-proclaimed King, and he even looks like he might be violent, judging from his running at something (the Plump Dumpling?) with a fork and knife. I hope the turf wars don't get violent (unless, maybe, there will be dumpling/ravioli shrapnel flying around my 'hood.)Now for the question that we demand an answer to: Are the sneakers and sweatpants edible, or do we have to strip him down to the buff before tossing him into the pot? These are the things, Curbed readers, that keep us up at night.
· Put on a Happy Face: Inside the EVil's Dumpling War [Curbed]
· Bruno The King of Ravioli [brunoravioli.com]