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It Happened One Weekend: Feel the Landlords' Pain

1) Behold the Connecticut of Brooklyn, where a 45-minute Q ride from Midtown and a million bucks will get you a Victorian mansion, a wraparound porch and trees so tall that when you climb them you can reach out, grab handfulls of fluffy clouds, pluck indigo from enchanted rainbows and slap angels right in their ugly fucking faces. It's Ditmas Park, aka Victorian Flatbush, and the Post wants to tell you all about it. But don't pack your bags just yet, friends, there are some serious drawbacks: "Freshdirect doesn't deliver to Ditmas Park!" [NYPost]
2) Apparently it was Sympathy for the Landlord Weekend, so here's your first lesson: Owning is hard. [NYTimes]
3) Sympathy for the Landlord Weekend continues now, with a completely new but equally important lesson: tennants are dishonest sociopaths who will bleed you dry and send you hurtling toward economic ruin. Owning is fun! [NYPost]
4) More news on Bernard Tschumi's BLUE, the 17-story opaline addition to the Lower East Side skyline. Sez the architect, "I have to use a word I hate to describe it: 'contextual.' But it is very contextual." Two blocks away, THOR nods knowingly. [NYTimes]
5) Two professional sisters have a few shocking revelations along the way ("All these storefronts - the delis and manicure places - they are five-story buildings with apartments. I had no idea.") before settling on an "adult" two-bedroom apartment on the Upper East Side. [Joyce Cohen/The Hunt]
6) Brothers build a karaoke stage in their $5,000 two-bedroom luxury rental on West 15th Street, with an assist from Aunt Shirley. The neighbors have only complained once, meaning they've probably spent the rest of their time sharpening the battle axes and polishing the brass knuckles. Sleep with one eye open, Smiths. That Bon Jovi number could be your last. [Penelope Green/Habitats]