[Let's institutionalize a new Curbed feature, shall we? We've had our fun in the past shedding light on the literary stylings of our city's real estate agents. Let's have more fun like that! Come across an absurd, illiterate, or otherwise amusing real estate ad? Send a link along to firstname.lastname@example.org with "Broker Babble" in the Subject line.]
If you're paying $5,250 for a 2BR rental in Soho, you'd damn well better live how you want. Bond New York broker Joseph Hanley has just the way:
THIS IS WHERE YOU WANT TO BE. IT DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS. TWO BEDROOM PENTHOUSE WITH TWO FULL BATHROOMS AND A WORKING FIREPLACE.AND WHEN THE DINNER DATE GETS TOO HOT COOL OFF WITH A COLD BEER ON YOUR 45FT BY 10 ROOF DECK PATIO TERRACE. ENJOY THE SOUTHERN SUNLIGHT ALL DAY LONG.. WITH SOUTHERN VIEWS FROM THE EAST TO THE WEST.AND WHO KNOWS IF YOUR DINNER DATE GOES AS PLANNED. ENJOY THE SUNSET TOGETHER IN YOUR BIRTHDAY SUITS..CHEERS!!All caps is, as always, a nice touch.
· Listing: Soho 2BR Apartment [NYTimes Real Estate Listings]