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Our H&Ms, Ourselves: Know Your Various Captors

One of the lesser-reported yet more empowering symptoms of Stockholm syndrome, wherein we as a city stop worrying and love the chain stores, is the persistent ability to differentiate among each branch of, say, Euro-import disposable-chic retailer H&M and thereby maintain the feeling that we haven't quite given in entirely. Luckily, the Voice performed this great public service. Want to relive that first kick of buying clothes that were "synthetic and psychotic, but fantastically guilt-free"? Head to the Midtown flagship at 5th and 51st. Like the kind of painfully honest advice you get from your local bartender? Try the Harlem shop at 125 West 125th. But the biggest surprise (we're shocked, shocked) of them all? The Soho twins get slammed.

Have you ever gone into your roommate's bedroom and found your own clothes in a dusty heap on the floor? This H&M looks like her room, with party dresses and sweaters strewn about in an orgy of outfit dilemmas.Yup, 558 Broadway is "The Disgusting Roommate of H&Ms." And its tag-along slightly farther downtown at 515 B'way? "This random little shop is where trends go to die." Heaven save us.
· Chain Reaction [VV]
· Flatiron Fined for Advertecture [Curbed] [Photo via Flickr/aarora]