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Elephants in the Shower at Arris Lofts

Yesterday's CurbedWire report on the surprisingly ubiquitous TV commericals for Long Island City's Arris Lofts that feature elephants and giraffes seems to have hit a nerve. Notes one commenter, "CNBC plays the commercial every hour. First comes the giraffe, then some other company's ad, then the elephant. Personally, I'd rather have a duplex than headroom for a pet giraffe."

We're not sure about that, but don't take it from us. Instead, let's turn it over to an actual Arris Lofts shopper, who emails along a detailed analysis of whether, in fact, an elephant can fit in the bathroom. Also examined: the curious lack of kitchens. Her analysis, including the phrase "hygiene-obsessed anorexics," ahead.

I actually managed to tag along on a showing for the Arris Lofts- and you really can fit an elephant into the bathrooms. We saw 1BR with two gigantic full size bathrooms....the Australian lady showing us around really truly said "it's all the rave" when we inquired as to why the 2 mondo bathrooms in a 1BR. Noticeably absent in the spacious apt was a kitchen??? Which later we were told was to be a small console against the main wall of the living room. Apparently the members of their target market are the kind to eat out on the town. (But, ahem, this is LIC! I live here. We have a few restaraunts and the number is growing...but a kitchen is a necessity if you actually want to eat food regularly.) Gigantic oversized bathrooms which can probably truly hold an elephant, and no actual kitchens. I guess their target market includes hygiene-obsessed anorexics.

Side note, the ceilings are really, really high. Great light. But that's it. What they couldn't ruin, they didn't. Light and location (convenient-near 3 useful subway lines). The elephant and giraffe can probably fit in there, but they'll go hungry.

By the way, that floorplan at top is a 1BR, 2.5 bath space priced at $1.055 million. Zookeepers are standing by.
· Listings: Arris Lofts [arrislofts.com]
· CurbedWire: Arris Lofts on TV [Curbed]
· On the Market: LIC Luxury at Arris Lofts [Curbed]