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Roommate List of Commandments

In New York Magazine's infamous "L-ification of Brooklyn" story last year, it was argued that hipsters were being forced farther east on the L-train in their quest for an affordable new gentrification spot. The next target was, of course, Morgan Avenue (or maybe it wasn't, we're operating off our own depleted memories here). So, that being said, we understand why these Morgan Ave'ers in need of a third roommate to share their loft are a bit protective over who they bring in, but ... wow. From the Craig:

THE CHAMPAGNE OF LOFTS $750 a month in a great safe building one block from the L train (Morgan Ave). 15 minutes from Union Square, but let's be honest with each other; you really have nowhere to go.

Duplex, 14' ceilings, three bedroom loft, with guest room, bar/kitchen island, dishwasher, etc. (Pics forthcoming.)

Laundry in the building, bar and coffee shop and grocery store across the street.

Neighborhood not quite yet lousy with stinkin' hipster folk. Williamsburg's become so ironic that I just want to punch myself in the junk.

And then it gets better.

The only private yard and parking space, with remote control gate, in the neighborhood. Do you know what "private" means? It means you're not allowed in it.
Stay out.
Seriously. High speed wireless internet, TiVo.

We're two fun guys, (one "professional", one "artist") like to drink, party, rock out, scream uncontrollably. But only after 11pm. Before 11, we demand complete and utter silence. Really.

You will be sharing a 8'x13' room with our two cats. It comes furnished if you want, but you should probably bring your own sheets and some disinfectant. The ceiling is "tall enough". What the hell do you need to do standing up in your room anyway?

No baggage/emotional problems/passive aggressive tendencies, or light-sleepers, whatsoever. All house disputes and disagreements are dealt with in our Sunday afternoon fistfights. And we've been training.

Looking for someone to move in May 15th or June 1st, and to move out whenever the hell we say so.

If you want to move in with your boyfriend, be our guest. Just don't bring that mess into our house. He wouldn't want to live here anyway.

First months rent, and one month security required.

And I swear to god, if you eat my soup, I'm setting your stuff on fire and hucking it off the roof.

Contact us to see the place. Replies with pics will be considered first.

· Listing: $750 - the Champagne of Lofts [Craigslist]