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Tales from Urintetown, Part 2

In Part 1 of our tinkle tell-all, a new skate shop on Greene Street caused quite a stir, with fluid results. So let's take this show over to Brooklyn?Red Hook, to be exact?where Ikea is getting thrown into the racial melting pot, and teenagers just can't keep it in their pants. From Craigslist (sorry about the caps lock, but it's not like we're going to re-type this):

$438 - RED HOOK THE PROJECTS
I LIVE IN A 2 BEDROOM APARTMENT, AND I AM LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO RENT OUT 1 BEDROOM. I'M HARDLY HOME SO YOU WOULD HAVE PLENTY PRIVACY. ABOUT THE AREA IT'S IN RED HOOK WHERE THE NEW IKEA IS BEING BUILT, THERE ARE PLENTY OF PARKS , CAFE'S AND RESTURANTS AND PIERS, THE POOL IS RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM ME. ABOUT THE BUILDING THERE ARE ABOUT 25 APARTMENTS. THERE ARE DIFFERENT TYPES OF PEOPLE YOUNG, OLD, AFRICAN AMERICAN, LATINOS, POLISH, AND CHINESE. BECAUSE THERE ARE TEENAGERS IN THE BUILDING YOU GET ALOT OF IN AND OUT. HERE ARE THE BAD PARTS. IT'S IN THE PROJECTS AND SOMETIMES THERE URINE IN THE ELEVATOR. BUT THAT'S SOMETIME AND IT'S BECAUSE THE TEENAGERS THAT COME TO VISIT PEOPLE IN THE BUILDING. BUT I HAVE LIVED THERE FOR 5 YEARS AND I NEVER HAD A PROBLEM W/ANYONE I AM NURSE AND BECAUSE THE RENT IS CHEAP I STAY AND ONCE THE IKEA GOES UP THE BUILDING WILL GO COOP. SO IF YOUR INTERESTED IN A ROOM IN A QUIET APARTMENT AND ARE WILLING TO DEAL W/SOME OF THE HASSLE OF THE BUILDING. THIS IS FOR YOU IF YOUR LOOKING FOR A WHITE NEIGHBORHOOD THIS NOT FOR YOU, BUT IF YOUR LOOKING FOR AN UP AN COMING MIXED NEIGHBORHOOD THIS IS FOR YOU.
And who said Ikea is a negative for the neighborhood? Affordable pee-soaked co-ops for everyone, dude!
· $438 - RED HOOK THE PROJECTS [Craigslist]