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Canal Street is Going Glam, Except That it's Not

We deal with brokerbabble for a living, so it takes a little something extra to phase us. Consider us phased. The Sun uses the rising of Enrique Norten's One York as a peg to look at the changing face of Canal Street (?), and our problems with One York aside, the rigamarole comes off a little forced?and amusing! Said One York developer Stanley Perelman:

"For a long time this area, this street, attracted schlocky retailers — it was a void," Mr. Perelman, who is also managing principal of JANI Real Estate, said. Now, however, "all of these retailers are going to be gone and this is going to be a different, dynamic neighborhood."Oh, Stanley. Stanley, Stanley, Stanley... Actually believing that Canal Street is moving away from bootleg vendors, cheap jewelry stores, throngs of tourists and crushing traffic jams (it's not) is one thing, but trying to hoodwink potential buyers into thinking the same is another. As Sun writer Bradley Hope put it right up top: "There is one conspicuous omission in the advertisements for One York, a sleek, glassy condominium building set to open in the spring of 2008: Canal Street." If you have so much faith in the glamorous makeover of Canal Street, why try to pass the neighborhood off in the marketing materials as "elegantly poised between discreet Tribeca and dynamic Soho." Where's the love?

And that's just the beginning. For the clincher, we turn to Elliman's retail specialist Faith Hope Consolo, who curiously and confusingly calls Canal Street "the last frontier" of Manhattan, then drops an atomic bomb on the whole street: 'The area is poised to become "the next Lower East Side," she added.' In a long line of breathtaking "XX is the next XX" brokerbabble statements, that one has to be the greatest ever.
· Changes Afoot on Manhattan's ‘Last Frontier' [NYSun]
· It's Time to Admit We Have a Problem ... with One York [Curbed]

[Photo via Flickr/cabosankristen]

One York

1 York Street, New York, NY 10013