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Attention Harlem: Scientologists are Coming for You

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Seventy-five million years ago, Xenu?dictator of the Galactic Confederacy?brought people to Earth in a giant spaceship, stacked them around volcanoes and killed them using hydrogen bombs. Despite this nasty bit of behavior, the new Earthlings' essences remained, and today they form around us, causing us great spiritual harm. But fear not, people of Harlem: the Church of Scientology is coming to rescue you! The Columbia Spectator reports on the church's uptown expansion plans, which comes on the heels of the 2003 opening of the Scientology facility at 122nd Street and Third Avenue. Within the coming year, an old six-story wine warehouse at 220 East 125th Street will reopen with 55,000-square-feet of classrooms, training areas and a toxin-purifying sauna. And last summer, the church bought 230 and 232 East 125th Street (top left) for $11 million, properties that previously housed the St. Samuel Church of God in Christ and a printing company. They'll be combined to house a community center. Hey, whatever gets Tom Cruise up to Harlem, right?
· Church of Scientology Aims to Gain Presence in Harlem [Columbia Spectator]