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Park Ave. Party Animal Church Wants to Rock it Out

Every once in awhile, there comes a story so note-perfect that it brings us to our knees. Such is our penitent state, then, as we consider the latest update to the Upper East Side party animal church saga, a Curbed story so perfect it could only have come from Him:

A Park Avenue church's plan to generate revenue by renting out its social hall for lavish parties has angered its neighbors, who are seeking to get its liquor license and Department of Buildings permit overturned. Neighbors expressed concerns about the Upper East Side church, Third Church of Christ Scientist on Park Avenue at East 63rd Street, at a meeting of Community Board 8 last night.... The party space has been billed as an exciting new space to hold upscale, catered events.The Church, of course, has the perfect comeback: the parties are merely to pay for badly needed repairs. So it's Church vs. teetotalers, on the Upper East Side. We'd only be enjoying this more if we were already drunk.
· Church's Party Plan Angers Neighbors [NYSun, photo via The City Review]