1) The Minister of Silly Walks, John Cleese, has picked up a two-bedroom pied-a-terre in this very normal Upper East Side Building for $1.4 million. How modest! Oh wait, he also has a $28 million ranch in Santa Barbara. That's more like the celebs we know and love! [Max Abelson/Manhattan Transfers]
2) This week's Pinky Finger rumors: Madonna in the triplex penthouse, Richard Gere somewhere below. Yeesh, is Schnabel only marketing to weird, religious celebrities? [S. Jhoanna Robledo/Movers]
3) The on-the-market, off-the-market seesaw of Christie Brinkley's Bridgehampton estate continues, with the latest being that the 20-acre megacompound (which includes a five-story observation tower) will soon be back up for sale. It was taken off the market a year ago, when it was listed at $26.5 million, when the whole "my husband is sleeping with a teenager" thing hit. [Braden Keil/Gimme Shelter]
4) The Opie & Anthony Show once bragged about how Donald Trump was begging to be a guest. Trump responded by saying, "The idea that I called these two slobs is laughable.” How is Opie hitting back? By buying a $3.35 million 40th-floor apartment in Trump Place. Diabolical! [Abelson]
5) Leave it to the Hamptons to connect Lance Armstrong and Howard Stern so easily. Lance will be spending time in a $360,000 Southampton rentail with his girlfriend, Tory Burch. Burch's estranged husband, Chris, actually signed the lease on the place. Chris Burch also rented out his Meadlow Lane estate for $1 million to Howard Stern, while Stern's manor home is being constructed. Phew! [Keil]