When we introduced Williamsburg's former Old Dutch Mustard factory as 80 Metropolitan, we playfully mocked sales agent Halstead's previous 'Burg marketing experience at the Toll Brothers' North 8 condos, and then we wondered what sort of fun ride they had in store for 80 Met. Then we noted the "More stuff. More Williamsburg." thing. Maybe not the best start, but it couldn't get worse than that right? Right?
While the lame "more stuff" tagline didn't have us quite worried about a hyped development that should be an easy slam dunk, the wet dream thing was a whole different story. OK, swimming pool ... wet dream ... ha ha we get it. It's still dumb as shit, but it was on a wheatpaste poster in a so-called "edgy" neighborhood, so that, too, could be forgiven.
But check in with the new 80 Met website. The page is supposed to spell out the building for the real estate-buying world, and the message is clear: Wet dream. Get laid back. Why is this happening? Didn't everyone get the hint when the William Beaver House dropped its whole anime porn thing that blatant sexualization of a condo building is, you know, kind of stupid and lame? Does the team involved with 80 Metropolitan really want their multi-million dollar investment to be represented by bad sex puns and visions of ejaculating in one's sleep? And if so, why not just hire a group of high schoolers to work on the campaign? It would certainly be cheaper. And don't get us started on the website's "Overpriced city just a stop away" comment, as if the people who are looking to buy a luxury condo in nouveau Williamsburg are Brooklyn purists who love dumping on Manhattan. Alright, back to our morning cup of joe.
· 80 Metropolitan [Official Site]
· Actually, 80 Metropolitan is a 'Wet Dream' [Curbed]
· 80 Met Teased, Debuts Right-Aligned Logo [Curbed]