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Hey Community Board 1, Tell Us How You Really Feel!

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Because the parking lot at 74 Hudson Street falls in the Tribeca West Historic District, the owner's plan to build a one-story retail building on the property has to navigate a complicated series of government agencies, starting with Community Board 1, which passes on an advisory vote to the Landmarks Preservation Commission. At last night's CB1 meeting, the board voted on the resolution written up by its Landmarks Committee about the proposal. So what does the subcommittee think about the "glass and steel-beam" design? Check out the portion of the resolution excerpted above, which shows the full extent of the wackiness that grips our localest of government agencies. It was hard to underline one specific passage as our favorite (we're suckers for a good vampire characterization), but other favorite zingers include: "WHEREAS: The design would be more appropriate in a strip mall in Queens—No, that denigrates Queens; perhaps a strip mall in New Jersey," and "WHEREAS: How many ways are there to express the Community Board's dread of this scheme?" It ends with the subcommittee's recommendation: "CB #1 begs, beseeches and urges the Landmarks Preservation Commission to throttle, dispatch and reject this application." The full board passed the resolution word-for-word, by the way.

· Community Board 1 []