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"Bicycles should be licensed and taxed. So should those cool sneakers with wheels, skateboards, two-wheeled scooters (not the motorized kind), shopping carts (if you ride on them), horses, roller blades, soap-box derby cars, spiked track shoes, Big Wheels, sleds and toboggans, kayaks, inner-tubes, angel wings, umbrellas that make you fly, wheel-chairs (if going downhill), surf boards, and anything else which allows one to move faster than the average walking pace of a 300 pound 80 year old (estimated at about 1/2 of a mile per hour). Also, we need new laws against running with scissors, swimming within 3 hours of eating, speaking loudly in libraries, wearing white after labor day, diving in the shallow end, not meeting a person's eye during a job interview, and naming a child Chelsea, Riley or Max." [Even More Bike Hating]