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It Happened One Weekend: Park Slope Noise War

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1) The artists who inhabit the 9-story building at 5 East 3rd Street recently got a gift from the city: after outlasting the rough Bowery days in a glorified version of squatting, they were allowed to take title to their apartments in a newly formed condominium (they renamed the building Wyoming Arts Condiminium; right). But they need to sell the one vacant apartment for $1.7 million to pay back their loan and obtain a certificate of occupancy, but they can't close with the buyer until they get that certificate of occupancy. The seventies were a much simpler time, no? [Big Deal/'Catch 22 of Urban Renewal']

2) The latest must-have accessory for new condo projects is a cemetery view, with their leafy, winding paths, sweeping light and zen-like quiet. Except at night, of course, when the anguished screams of those tortured souls lost in purgatory fill the night air with their suffering. [Posting/'Whistling Past the Condominiums']

3) The new family-friendly NYC is causing a war amongst parents who are raising kids in apartment buildings and their kid-less neighbors who just want a night of uninterrupted sleep. Said one Park Slope twentysomething about those darned kids: "It's exhausting. Even my boyfriend doesn’t ever want to come over — it’s so horrible." ['The Noise Childrean Make']

4) Park Slopers, already sleep deprived from the sounds of crying children, will not be getting any relief from airplane noise anytime soon, either. But hey, at least the 'hood isn't as bad as Flushing, right? [The City/Park Slope]

5) It's no surprise that a visual merchandiser for Pottery Barn has a crapload of furniture, so can he find a one-bedroom Chelsea/Hell's Kitchen rental that A) fits into his ~$2k budget and B) fits all of his furniture? With the aid of (product placement!) FlyRig, he does. [The Hunt/'Room to Decorate']