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The Catch: $325/month for East Village Threesome

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The Catch, in which we present everything-looks-good-except listings, needs you! Send your nominees to tips@curbed.com and we'll consider them for public shaming.

What/Where: A three-bedroom apartment near Avenue A and East 3rd Street, rent controlled, priced at $325 per month. Let's repeat that for emphasis: Three-bedroom East Village apartment priced at $325 per month.
Looks Good, Right?: One of the most common queries we receive here at Curbed HQ is, "Dear Curbed HQ, how do I find a rent-stabilized/controlled apartment?" Usually we suggest some sort of combination of prayer, incense burning and goat sacrifice. But not only is this one falling right into the lap of one lucky renter, but it's a three-bedroom apartment. Turn it into a rowdy den of bachelors and then raise the kiddies there?it's yours forever!
The Catch: As usual, there's a little dirty work that needs to be done in order to score this deal of a lifetime. Start working on those kissy-kiss sound effects!

From the Craigslist listing:

I caught my wife in bed with our neighbor who is almost 20 years younger than her. She is refusing to move out and still seeing him when I am at work, on my bed?I need someone to move in and help me get her out. Man or woman. My plan is to act like we are a couple until she can’t take it anymore. I have done everything possible to try and get her out..But she is a scumbag?.So we need to create some type of plan that would get her out..i would charge you very cheap and all you would have to do is act like we are dating. We might have to kiss if front her and make fake sounds when we are in the bedroom. Please respond with a detailed description of your plan to get her out and a little about your self. You could live there after she is out and unless we fall in love we don’t have to do anything else.Hmm...desperate and broke New Yorker moves into rent-controlled apartment occupied by warring spouses, pretends to be new love interest, ends up falling head-over-heels and lives happily ever after in said apartment. Did we just uncover the plot for the next Adam Sandler-Drew Barrymore rom-com?
· $325 EAST VILLAGE- Controlled and large 3 bed [Craigslist]