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Top 10 UES Crash Pads for Madonna's Boy Toy

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We heard the news that Madonna is looking for a crash pad for her boyfriend, Brazilian model Jesus Luz, and saw our chance to become BFFs with Madge. We compiled a list of 10 apartments in her price range, around 1.7 million pounds, which our handy currency calculator tells us is about $2.73 million. All of them are within walking distance of her new $32 million spread at 152 East 81st Street. We placed a few conditions on our search:

· East of Lexington: If Jesus moves west of Lexington while Madonna is east, they might as well head straight for splitsville.
· South of 86th Street: Since she already has to deal with the stigma of living east o' Lex, we don't want Madonna to suffer the added indignity of owning a place north of 86th Street.
· No co-ops: Hasn't Madonna already spent enough time tussling with co-op boards?

10) Address: 200 East 66th Street
Vital stats: Three bedrooms, three bathrooms, 1,700 square feet
The skinny: It's not quite adopting a child from a third world country, but Manhattan House needs your help, Madonna!
Asking: $2.6 million [listing]

9) Address: 188 East 78th Street
Vital stats: Two bedrooms, two-and-a-half bathrooms, 1,500 square feet
The skinny: Jacuzzi! Towel warmers! Could Madge possibly say no?
Asking: $2.39 million [listing]

8) Address: 422 East 72nd Street
Vital stats: Three bedrooms, two bathrooms, 1,880 square feet
The skinny: In case Madge wants a bit more of a trial period before making a $2.7 million investment, this apartment is also available for rent at $8,500 per month.
Asking: $2.6 million [listing]

7) Address: 401 East 60th Street, 32C
Vital stats: Three bedrooms, three bathrooms, 1,956 square feet
The skinny: This apartment is a bit of a walk from Madonna's townhouse, but since the whole thing is wired for stereo, it'll be like she's right there all the time.
Asking: $2.5 million [listing]

6) Address: 401 East 60th Street, 3D
Vital stats: Two bedrooms, two bathrooms, 1,548 square feet
The skinny: If unit 32C doesn't work, there's also this in-contract lower-floor unit, which has an Asian-themed master suite and access to 3,300-square-feet of outdoor space. What fun would it be without a little bidding war?
Asking: $2.3 million [listing]

5) Address: 408 East 79th Street, 12C
Vital stats: Two bedrooms, three bathrooms, 1,609 square feet
The skinny: This apartment has a formal dining room for those nights when Jesus wants to have Madonna and the gang over for a fancy home-cooked dinner, and the building has a playroom for when they decide to send the kiddies downstairs.
Asking: $2.8 million [listing]

4) Address: 167 East 82nd Street, 7B
Vital stats: Two bedrooms, two bathrooms, 1,621 square feet
The skinny: If Madonna's looking for old-school UES elegance, this new-to-market unit has oak herringbone floors and a wood-burning fireplace.
Asking: $2.23 million [listing]

3) Address: 1438 Third Avenue, 7E
Vital stats: Four bedrooms, three bathrooms, 1,773 square feet
The skinny: Practically around the corner from Madge and the kids, the kids' room in this apartment already has the racecar decal painted on the wall.
Asking: $2.295 [listing]

2) Address: 400 East 67th Street, 10B
Vital stats: Two bedrooms, two bathrooms, 1,276 square feet
The skinny: This new development is 421-a tax abated, LEED certified, and ready for occupancy right this second.
Asking: $2.23 million [listing]

1) Address: 404 East 79th Street, 14FG
Vital stats: Four bedrooms, three bathrooms, 1,800 square feet
The skinny: A multi-million-dollar, "bring your architect" fixer-upper, if JLuz and his backer are feeling particularly ambitious.
Asking: $2.1 million [listing]

You're welcome, M! Call us!
· Madonna to buy boyfriend Jesus a 1.7 million pound New York apartment [Telegraph via Real Deal]