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Revealed: Cheat Sheet for Reading Renters' Minds

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While browsing Craigslist we found a rental listing for the William Beaver House in the Financial District (1br, $3,895/month). That's no surprise, seeing as how around 50 condos in the André Balazs-developed Tower o' Sexytime have closed to date, and?per StreetEasy?12 are already being offered for rent. Curious, we searched to see what other beaver lodges are being offered via the Craig, and while a few leglit listings in the building did turn up, we were also bombarded with hundreds of listings that had nothing to do with the Beav at all.

Most of these listings are from Downtown brokerage Platinum Properties, and they pop up because there's a whole dictionary's worth of search keywords hidden in the graphic of the company's logo. By no means is this a new trick, but we're mentioning it because of the scale of this Joycean work of art. The epic list is a delirious stream-of-consciousness riff straight from the mind of the NYC renter (as imagined by brokers). That's the whole megillah above, but we've pasted the entire text below, while highlighting some of our favorite selections:

Wall street luxury st downtown pool gym huge spacious massive convertible studio 1br 2br 3br 4br one bedroom two bedroom three bedroom four bedroom new York fitness high end subway world trade center real estate flex nyu baruch cuny suny college bedroom bathroom stylish sexy chic sunny sun filled discount private financial district tribeca battery park city balcony water view available cheap real estate starke phillipe apartments apartment fidi best 1 2 3 4 5 6 a c e j m z n r q w path lirr long island rail road staten island ferry white glove south street seaport deal best wtc world trade center soho Chinatown east village west village Greenwich midtown Chelsea murray hill gramercy students valet lounge roofdeck golf terrace loft views luxurious easy new York university Williamsburg concierge buy mortgage tax trump pied a tierre piede tiere real deal firm cash free breakfast amenities amenity park penthouse triplex duplex pets dogs dog cat cats bus ferry no fee broker craigslist large huge big new construction brand new students floor to ceiling breathtaking platinum properties relaxing cipriani setai William beaver house andre balazs w doorman free rent discount transportation upscale lease 7 8 9 dry cleaning dwell discrete unique exposed brick high ceilings home lavish hotel style lehman deutschbank jp Morgan Stanley best stainless steel marble granite hardwood floors wood flex· Search Results: William Beaver [Craigslist]

William Beaver House

15 William Street, New York, NY 10005