When the listing for Tribeca's 2 N. Moore Street popped back up on the market after a three-month disappearance, we figured the new-and-improved price of $33 million?down from the $35M it was asking when it hit the market exactly one year ago?wasn't the only change in store for "Our Suburb," the nickname given to the 11,000-square-foot mansion when its owners extolled its suburban virtues back when plans were announced in 2005 (the long history is right here). If this thing is going to sell, the secrets of Our Suburb need to be revealed, and the living room photo recently added to the listing?to go with the renderings and pool shot that have been around forever?was just the beginning. Now, The Real Deal has scored the first full reveal of the house, and has packaged it into a video interspersed with soundbites from the owners and Corcoran's Deborah Grubman. We knew this epic moment in the history of Our Suburb?and, perhaps, the history of our lives?had to be documented in great detail, so we compiled a running diary while watching the video.
:10: We kick things off in the foyer at 2 N. Moore, where a giant pinwheel threatens to behead all those who question whether this, in hindsight, was really the best way to spend all that money.
:25: Real Deal correspondent Jill Gardiner says "if it sells for its ask price, it'll likely break the record for the most expensive townhouse below 14th Street." Not quite, considering the asking price is below what 11 West 10th Street sold for in 2007. We're sure the owners would be quite happy with falling just short, however.
:45: Check out those specs. And we should add that's a three-car garage. Shouldn't Madonna have given this one at least a look?
1:00: Powerhouse Corcoran broker Deborah Grubman makes her grand entrance. She's brief and to the point, telling us it's her great pleasure to show us this wonderful property. Will the brokerbabble be kept to a minimum to let the house speak for itself?
1:10: Look, shoppers!
1:13: Here's a curious little statement: "Grubman says that while news outlets may have reported it was on the market a year ago, it technically was not." Wait, so properties actively being marketed aren't "technically" on the market? Our world has come crashing down.
1:50: Some down and dirty pool porn up on the sixth floor. And here's something for the eventual 2 N. Moore edition of Trivial Pursuit: the swimmin' hole is made of steel and came in two pieces.
3:04: Owner Steven Schnall shows off the "fantastic toilet," while somehow resisting demonstrating it on-camera.
3:40: Finally, a reason for why the Schnalls are selling their custom-built dream house right after its finished. Steven Schnall sold his New York Mortgage Company in 2007, and now is in the business of opening high-end gyms. The family may pick up and move to the West Coast once the house is sold.
3:51: Schnall on the $33M ask: "I think that it's priced fair. In fact, some days I think we're priced low compared to what else is out there."
4:08: Deborah Grubman is interviewed in the en-suite cartography museum.
4:16: What were we saying about the brokerbabble again? Grubman: "The reason that I feel the price is not a ridiculous price, even though it is an aggressive price, is there is literally nothing that comes close."
4:50: Now we get a glimpse of the walled-in private interior courtyard created on top of the former NoMoore Bar building, the two-story brick landmark combined with the six floors of new construction that make up Our Suburb. We can't really call this a suburb if the kids have no lawn to mow.
5:25: "The Schnalls declined to say exactly how much money they invested in the property." Translation: Holy shit, we spent a fuckload of money on this thing.
5:38: Schnall on the chances of getting the full asking price given economic conditions: "I think that we'll just have to leave it up to the market to dictate what it's really worth." So it's not worth $33 million? But the Grubster just told us nothing comes close, and some glass box a few blocks over just sold for $30 million!
5:50: The couple addresses the whole "Our Suburb" thing, saying the remark was a "throwaway comment that the bloggers went nuts with." Then they reiterate that Tribeca is in fact suburban when compared to the Upper East Side, their former 'hood. Their final comment: "This is our suburb." Well, somebody else's suburb, they hope.
· The Real Deal gets exclusive tour of Schnall's Tribeca house [Real Deal]
· Listing: 2 N. Moore [Corcoran]
· All 2 N. Moore coverage [Curbed]