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Angry Note Run Through English-to-West-Village Translator

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For most people, if a motorcycle "apparently" fell on their car and banged it up, we imagine they might not react so calmly. But most people don't live in the polite and pristine West Village. How would a note with the same gist be penned in other NYC neighborhoods? One thing's for sure, in most places it probably wouldn't sign off with a cheery "thanks so much." Well, Park Slope, maybe.
· West village snarky accident note! [Twitter/TerryDiabolik]