After seizing Bernie Madoff's penthouse at 133 East 64th Street, those boorish U.S. Marshals proved to be untrained in the delicate dance of Upper East Side luxury real estate. You'll never believe what those classless fools did! Get this: The federal agents called a secret meeting and forced the city's superbrokers to share the same breathing space. The horror! One broker who was there tells the Observer, "It was a strange and, frankly, slightly insulting way to handle it. Everyone in that room has pitched pretty important exclusives. I've never had to go on a cattle call before." No word on how many monocles fell to the floor and shattered once the brokers filed in and saw one another, but as for the selection process, it's still undecided. The brokers have sent in their proposals, and while the apartment is expected to fetch around $8 million, it could go for less. That's unfortunate for Madoff's victims, especially when merely selling the mementos left behind might just settle the tab on the apartment.
According to the brokers the duplex is in some disrepair, but eBay treasures abound:
One of the agents there guessed that the penthouse is worth $8 million, but will sell for less because of its ignominy—and its condition, which, despite Mr. Madoff's reputation for punctiliousness, is imperfect. "So not triple-mint," an agent said. "That to me was incredibly surprising." "I thought it was eerie," another said. "The place was left as if someone got out in the middle of the night. All the clothes were there, there was a note, there was a cup of coffee on, I think, his desk. The only that was gone were the photos: the picture frames had no pictures.”
If we've learned one thing from other recent scandal-plagued apartment sales, it's that all the place needs is some champagne and a half-eaten pie and the price should creep back up over $8 million. Capiche?
· Top Brokers Cattle-Called for Madoff [NYO]
· Bernie Madoff coverage [Curbed]