Those new renderings of the Park51 Islamic center down near the World Trade Center sure were interesting, but wouldn't you like to see what other architects would do with the controversial site? One "international architecture firm" is proposing a "Terrorist Motel" for the Park Place location, which we'd call a simple tasteless gag if not for the accompanying renderings that wouldn't really be out of place in a developer's glossy marketing brochure. This thing took some effort! Check out the full "press release" after the jump, but not if you're offended by statements like, "The entrance will be in the form of a dramatic mountain cave with a thirty foot high opening, loosely fashioned on the Tora Bora outpost of Osama Bin Laden." So who's really behind these hijinx?
Terrorist Motel to Replace Controversial Islamic Cultural Center and Mosque (New York, NY) October 21, 2010 – An international architectural firm is proposing a Terrorist Motel to replace the highly contested Muslim Cultural Center and Mosque at 51 Park Place. The current plans call for a sixteen story building designed with an Islamic patterned design for the façade. The site has been at the center of controversy because of its proximity to Ground Zero. Many feel it’s too close for comfort.
Stealth Architects headquartered in Saudi Arabia have proposed a radical solution - a motel for terrorists in the form of a negative building. Their underground skyscraper is essentially a sixteen story, two hundred foot hole-in-the-ground filled with caves.
The entrance will be in the form of a dramatic mountain cave with a thirty foot high opening, loosely fashioned on the Tora Bora outpost of Osama Bin Laden.
Labyrinth of Man-Made Caves
The underground skyscraper will contain a labyrinth of man-made caves, a state-of-the-art training facility, a library of clandestine training manuals, designated storage areas for ammunition, and dirt cheap accommodations for international terrorists and drug smugglers.
The motel will be non-denominational, with no preferences given to religion, race or creed.
Cheaper than an Endless War
Mr. Muhammad Imam, the spokesperson for Stealth Architects, said “rather than spending three trillion dollars on an ‘endless war’ which cannot be won, we can put the terrorists up here; at the motel, at the International community’s expense and it will be much cheaper.”
Terrorists don’t need Five-Star Accommodations
“Terrorists don’t need five-star accommodations; they’re used to sleeping on straw beds or directly on the dirt ground, so it will be a relatively inexpensive project to build, they don’t need a fancy restaurant, swimming pool, or a health club, they’re pretty hard core types. We’ve included some perks like free Wi-Fi internet connections, and a shooting range. Still, it’s not going to be something to write home about.” Mr. Imam elaborated.
When asked about a construction time-table and adherence to NYC Building Codes, Mr. Imam was gruffly dismissive “we will fast track this project, and have it built in eighteen months, much sooner than the building proceeding at Ground Zero – they’re years out, we will work at night when the building department is closed.” When asked about the possibility of hitting water with a building so deep, he replied “they would go horizontally under the adjacent buildings if need be. These are non-issues for us.”
Mr. Iman concluded by stating that “The Terrorist Motel will provide a remarkable refuge in a city known for its high cost of living. At the very least we’ll know where they’re hiding this time.”
Floors: 3 Above ground, 13 below
Building Footprint: To be determined
Usable square footage: To be determined
Design Team: Mohammed Borges, Ali Lewis and Abdul Clark
· Park51 coverage [Curbed]