Downtown Insanity Palace Plans Lockdown for Doorman Strike

Have you heard? A union strike may cause doormen and other building employees to walk off the job at 12:01am on April 21st. BrickUnderground doesn't seem too worried that this will actually happen, but the management of Financial District condo building 15 Broad Street?aka Philippe Starck's Downtown Insanity Palace?aren't taking any chances. A resident forwarded us the memo detailing the building's contingency plan, followed by his own scathing critiques of the building's employees and strategies. Juicy! Check it out:

TO: All Residents of Downtown Condominium
FROM: General Manager
DATE: March 29, 2010
RE: Building Employees Contract As many of you are aware, the current agreement with Local 32B-32J, SEIU, which covers handymen, doormen, concierges and porters servicing your building, will expire at midnight on Tuesday evening, April 20, 2010. History has shown that a strike by building employees could take place upon the expiration of this agreement, and we want you to know in advance what this means to you. In the event of a strike, normal building operations will be significantly curtailed:

• Access to the building will only be via the main entrance and residents will be required to present their building ID card to gain access to the building. Please contact the resident manager or the management office if you need an ID card.
• The service entrance and service elevator will be closed down/locked during the strike. As a result, there will be no moves in or out or large deliveries. In addition, contractors and/or vendors will not be admitted to the building.
• Residents may be required to accept deliveries (i.e. food, messengers, overnight parcels, etc.) and visitors in the lobby or at the entrance of the building.
• The system in place for garbage disposal will need to be changed and we will provide additional information regarding this in advance of the strike deadline.
• The Keytrak system (apartment keys) will not be available – alternate arrangements must be made.
• All work orders will be temporarily put on hold and only emergency maintenance items will be addressed.And here's the resident's response to the plan:My first thought was: SERIOUSLY? Suggestions from me: they can get rid of two or three "doormen" since they rarely do just that (hold the door). Pretending to squint through a sunless entrance while being unable to open the swinging door does not constitute effort. What they do is not rocket science and is akin to wrapping my sandwich at Subway. Moreover, the Starck doormen are not particularly good at it either. We should easily be able to find temps that open our doors a third of the time and are willing to say "hello" and smile when we walk in. Overall, we should be able to maintain operations at a much higher level than indicated in their "plan" - and that's a given.

Additionally, the men at reception sit one and two at a time, doing once again, just that. Not a smile, a hello or a welcoming exchange. However, from observation, I realize that the requisite pair of Louboutins and lipstick would help me in that respect and or a greased palm, so I can't really blame them for that. However, I'm sure relieving a few of these men would more than make up for contract wage shortfalls and would even leave us with some money get the curtains in the lobby cleaned, since they are disgusting. A fellow resident recently commented that if they can't come up with a better plan, then they should hire some of the 9.7% unemployed people (national stat) to work for cheap to keep our building running.....

Then, no groceries? I can't take delivery of something I ordered? And oh yes, "service elevator will be closed down/locked during the strike." Now does that mean the gym will also be inaccessible in addition to the never-been accessible "movie theatre?"

I hope they come up with a better contingency plan than this. This plan would not make it past the "brainstorming" phase at my workplace, let alone lead to progressing my career as a "visionary." It's my estimation that we pay way too much money for this general lack of attention to detail which you would expect from "Philippe Starck's Downtown Insanity Palace."

Hell hath no fury like a FiDi condo owner scorned! Any other high-rise dwellers wish to share their building's strike plans?
· 15 Broad Street coverage [Curbed]