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Event: Esquire magazine's annual balls-out showhouse benefitting the Fresh Air Fund
Hotspot: The magical, mythical Clocktower Penthouse at 1 Main Street in Dumbo, developed by David Walentas and Two Trees (and currently on the market for $23.5 million)
In The House: The Kleier clan, with Selling New York crew in tow; the entire staff of Esquire; their hot girlfriends; Tiki Barber; Prince Lorenzo Borghese of The Bachelor; scores of Italian fashion executives.
Dress code: Satin, fur, and teetering heels for the ladies (apparently they were unfamiliar with that staircase); well-tailored suits for the menfolk.
Menu: Finger foods ranging from actual finger-sized pigs-in-blankets and tortilla ceviche shells to a messier assortment of sandwiches. Not to mention a top shelf bar with five signature Esquire cocktails and very generous glasses.
Soundtrack: A DJ tapping into the electro-indie Pandora station.
Gift Bag Contents: Rose-colored memories of feeling on top of the world, the knowledge that we managed to not drop our drink or body off the four-story Staircase of Death.
Highlights: Touching the fur throws casually draped throughout the space, the tequila bar with those giant ice cubes, the foggy view over the Manhattan and Brooklyn Bridges, overhearing the caterers snicker at the social media display on the third level.
Lowlight: Vertigo from climbing those motherf***ing stairs.
The Skinny: You're probably well familiar with the 7,000-square-foot mega-quadruple-penthouse with four clocktower faces by now. The effect, once decorated, is gobsmacking: it's far less cold when furnished. And seeing as how it's hard to imagine anyone but a wealthy playboy living in it, the Esquire connection makes total sense.
· Inside Esquire's Very Bonkers Ultimate Bachelor Pad [Curbed National]
· Esquire to Fill Brooklyn's Priciest Pad With Sexy Ghost [Curbed National]
· On the Market: Walentas' $25m Dumbo ClockTower Perch! [Curbed]