BOOM! No one clears out of the Upper West Side like John Madden does! That's how we suspect the legendary NFL coach and broadcaster would analyze the instant replay of the Wall Street Journal's report that the 75-year-old has listed his 2,000-square-foot 2BR/2.5BA in the storied Dakota for $4.9 million. That's right, John Madden and Yoko Ono are neighbors, or at least they were, because the retired Madden has been living full time on the West Coast for a while. Superbroker Dolly Lenz has the listing, which is a million bucks cheaper than the Dakota's most controversial 2BR pad. Madden's apartment gets bonus cool points for being a maisonette, with a private entrance off the building's courtyard. That makes it so much easier to buy drugs from Antonio Banderas's guy!
But what's with the kitchen? Madden's appetite is the stuff of legend, but this most important of rooms looks like it hasn't been touched since Madden bought the place in 1985, from Gilda Radner. And that table for two, seen in the gallery above, might be the saddest setup ever. Still, it warms our heart to think of how many turduckens have been cooked in that kitchen. Madden paid just $625,000 for the apartment back in the day, probably as wise an investment as lending his name to the Madden video game series. Here's the floorplan: