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S4E12: The Inspector Investors

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HGTV's Selling New York rides along with brokerages CORE, Gumley Haft Kleier and Warburg as they try to sell fabulous properties fabulously. Here's our recap of how the NYC real estate industry is portrayed to the world, penned by Molly Reisner. Episode air date: 1/12/2012

It's hard to imagine having enough bills to buy an investment property in NYC, but we can viva the dream with last night's Super Extra Rich People installment of Selling New York! First, an ambitious agent gambles his time on a wealthy gallery owner on the prowl for some new property. Then, a dashing Italian uomo (man in Italian, I totes looked it up) looks to rent out his recently purchased Harlem apartment...and just might snap up the one next door. Will profits get turned or agents get burned? While everyone's wheelin' and dealin', I'll make you an offer on this recap you can't refuse...FREE!

CRISIS #1: GALLERY OWNER SENDS AGENT ON SEARCH FOR UNSPECIFIC INVESTMENT PROPERTY

CORE agent Kirk Rundhaug is having a good day. He's on the yearly schooner outing around Manhattan with his colleagues AND he just got a call from Gloria Naftali AKA The Investor. "With certain clients, you're 24/7 with them" Kirk explains. In other words, Gloria is like a syrup tap with mad money flowing out instead of sweet, golden maple.

Kirk tries to hitchhike out of a conversation with boss Shaun and back onto land so he can get rolling with Gloria's request:

In DUMBO, Kirk meets up with Gloria's personal broker, artist Judi Harvest. Judi previews all potential properties first to judge if they are worth a visit from Gloria. Not a bad gig, Judi!

Can someone tell me what kind of '70s euro-lego toy car this is? It looks so adorable and unsafe!:

The twosome head over to 189 Bridge Street to check out the $7.5 million penthouse. Hmmm...this must have been before all the stop n' go price chopping.

Come lay your peepers on this 5,100 square foot slice of '80s South Beach:

The birds cling to the window, hoping for an escape from the cheesy dual staircase layout:

Judi knows right away it's not right for Gloria. She wants "something more intimate in scale" and closer to the Village. So off they go to...

The Cammeyer at 650 6th Avenue in The Flatiron District. This slow-to-fill building still has the $4.995 million penthouse up for grabs:

The sleek white decor and sculptural design excite Judi but she thinks Gloria is looking for something "even more spectacular." Keep werkin' it Kirk!

Finally Gloria makes an appearance with Judi and Kirk at this mystery building on 2nd Avenue:

Will this $4.295 million number have enough WOW for Gloria?

Gloria makes a go for the mega martini glass. Chug! Chug! Chug!:

The 15x22 pool intrigues Gloria as do the 48th floor views but she needs some time to ponder...

And when Kirk checks up on her later about her decision, she says she's not inspired to buy something so big. Agents aren't mind readers Gloria! Lay down some parameters! Why I'm getting worked up about this, I have no idea. Kirk's time investment in Gloria didn't go unrewarded though - while he continues searching for Gloria's elusive gem, Judi referred a client to him who made an offer on a $5 million Chelsea penthouse!

CRISIS #2: AGENT URGES ITALIAN INVESTOR TO STRIKE TWICE IN HARLEM LUXURY BUILDING

Citi Habitats SVP Lucie Holt is all kinds of nervous! She's about to show her client, Raffaele Caracciolo, the apartment he purchased SIGHT UNSEEN(!!!) recently. The goods? A $775k 2 bed/2bath in Harlem's new Apex Condo at 2300 Frederick Douglass Boulevard. It's part condo, part boutique hotel. It's a...hondo!

Shall we?

Raf finds his investment "bellissimo" and is eager to get it rented. Lucie's all "the place next door is coming on the market, you should think about it" and Raf gets a sour face at the thought of doling out more euros:

But Lucie persuades him to investigate the opportunity, so they visit the $1.15 million neighboring unit:

Lucie convinces Raf there's "a lot of growth in Harlem" and she'd have no problem renting the second place if he buys it. Raf gets excited about connecting the two apartments one day for a mega-manse. Isn't every New Yorkers fantasy to bash down their neighbor's wall?

Raf'll make an offer once Lucie rents the first apartment. Lucie snags a renter real quick, clocking in a cool $3900k a month for Raf's pocket. Raf is contento about the progress and tells Lucie to start the bid at $1 million and stop it at $1.05 million.

It's negotiatin' time! Lucie meets up with Apex Sales Manager Khadeejah Johnson at Harlem's bier international. K's not feeling Raf's lowball offer, but I'll let the video do the talkin':

K's point is that the Apex is 50% sold now, which wasn't the case when Raf got the first unit at a deal. Now he's gotta pay up!

Oooh, a counter offer from Apex comes in...they'll take $1.06 million including closing costs. Lucie shares the news with Raf on video chat. Si, si, si! he says. Lucie's wishin' for a second commission comes true. Raf gets his lockdown at the Apex AND the second unit already rented. Limoncellos all around!

Episode Grade: One investor put her agent to test and another seized an opportunity at his agent's behest! I'll invest 3 out of 5 cackling Kleiers with 4% interest.