HGTV's Selling New York rides along with brokerages CORE, Gumley Haft Kleier and Warburg as they try to sell fabulous properties fabulously. Here's our recap of how the NYC real estate industry is portrayed to the world, penned by Molly Reisner. Episode air date: 1/19/2012
Hear ye! Hear ye! Welcome to a most royal edition of Selling New York. Why such regal verbiage, you ask thee? For there is a prince amongst us plebian city dwellers! So handsome is he and so real his title, ladies fought over him on The Bachelor! 'Tis true my readers. And now he seeketh a home on the North Shoreth of Long Island. Will this prince find a dwelling worth his riches? Then, a broker gets a second shot at listing an unusual converted cathedral in East Harlem. Will a poppin' party produce a buyer, or just annoy the neighbors? So much juice, let's get squeezing!
CRISIS #1: AGENTS BASICALLY IN LOVE WITH PRINCE
The Kleier Ladies have hit a major jackpot. Their new client is a prince! Prince Lorenzo Borghese. They met him through their work with the Humane Society. You may recognize him from season 9 of The Bachelor where he didn't propose to anyone. But he did propose to the Kleiers that they help him find a weekend home in Long Island.
The Kleiers meet up with Prince in Central Park, dogs in hand, glam and glossy as ever. The Prince bestows each of the ladies with some lotion, probs from his high-end pet care line, A Royal Treatment Italian Pet Spa.
What an entreprinceneur! So, Prince is looking for a weekend pad on the North Shore, preferably in Centre Island. "It's not about money, it's about a feel," he tells the gals when they ask him his budget. Who says that? Princes, that's who! Also, can we just agree that each of the Kleiers has allowed themselves an extended fantasy about a royal make out with Prince?
Later, Prince and his real estate harem Rolls-Royce up to an exclusive open house in Huntingdon thrown by luxe Long Island broker Shawn Elliot. The goods? This $6.95 million manse has 6 bedroom/6.5 baths and is brand-noveau:
Prince seems vaguely into it, but also wants to look at Option #2...
which awaits a helicopter ride away from NYC. Prince, Shawn, Sabrina and Mama Bear chopper it over to a 17 acre estate in Old Westbury.
Bonus! Aerial view!
Sam? Not so into hurtling through the sky. She meets up with them by car on the $8.9 million grounds. Feel like a pauper while touring through this 1920's historic haven:
Prince is digging the notion of being a short helicopter ride away from the city and it reminds him of The Great Gatsby. The con? No water view. Let's see something even more grand for one person to live in!
Option #3 is a $20 million home with a whopping 20,000 square feet of original Italian details:
"I'm speechless," says Prince after the tour. But he needs to think about it. When he's done his allotted royal thinking, he triple dates with the Kleiers at the Upper East Side's Paola's Restaurant. There, Prince shares his innermost thoughts with the awaiting ladies. "These homes are for people who have children and grandchildren to fill every room," he says. He fears being lonely in such a big house but still wants to keep looking for something more one-Prince sized.
Prince giving his lonely face:
Prince apologizes for not being more clear about his smaller domestic desires. The ladies admit to getting swept up in the big houses. Prince needs to find his Princess and Procreate His Lineage ASAP! Mama Bear tells him she'd be happy to find what he wants, even if it's just a lil' cozy cottage. And 4 months later, they're still searching for the right place for Prince to give his final rose to.
CRISIS #2: BROKER BUSTS A MOVE TO SELL UNIQUE E. HARLEM CATHEDRAPARTMENT
Warburg agent Dorothy Schrager is pumped! She's visiting seller Marc Anderson's one-of-a-kind apartment at 236 East 111 Street in East Harlem. Actually, she's seeing it for a second time. Four years ago she repped the listing, but Marc pulled it to make some changes. Now, Dor's rearin' to sell the $1.495 million former cathedral. Which used to be a farmhouse! Revere this:
Did you catch the open shower situation? Dor gets ready to rip off her jacket and test it out:
The sleek, white lines and austere modernity impress Dor but she thinks it'll be a challenge to get buyers to the "up and coming" nabe. Idea time! Dor's son, David, runs a hip-hop label and just might be the hook-up to the right buyin' crowd.
Mother and son chew n' chat about how to make E. Harlem happen. Dor suggests a party with Dave's artistic friends. Dave notches it up a smidge and says there has to be a DJ too. Dor's all over it, but has to check with Marc before turning his home into a nightclub.
What's going on with Dor's fringed neckwear? Dominatrix lite?:
Back uptown at East Harlem Cafe, Dor tells Marc about party plans. He's all "eeeks!" about it but trusts Dor to keep it civilized. And to make sure no one steals his stuff.
Dor clicks her heels all over town to get supplies ready for the party. She makes a nosh stop at Shelsky's in Brooklyn to ask her owner friend if he'll cater the party.
Because no hip party is complete without your grandma's whitefish:
P.S. Cannot wait to go there and pick up pastrami lox bagelwhich.
It's open house party tiiiiime! Music is jumpin', people are humpin' (no they're not) and Dor's gettin' busy...pointing out interesting features:
The best part of the night? David invited the Harlem Gospel Choir to perform!
Did all that hallelujahing ignite the fire in a buyer? Dor recaps with Marc about the party outcome at Tom's Restaurant:
Nope! But Marc's been getting a lot of design related calls from party goers. He toys with the idea of delisting but to Dor's delight decides to keep it on the market while he does some biz in L.A. The update is that Dor showed it to a young composer who's headed back for a second look. But the fact that it remains listed tells me that Dor's still singing the property's praises.
Episode Grade: Princes are real! And, maybe even more thrilling, so are converted cathedrals in NYC! A 5 star trip to the good life leaves me feeling generous with 4 out of 5 coy cackling Kleiers.
· Selling New York [HGTV]
· Selling New York coverage [Curbed]