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East Williamsburg Petitions to Secede from Williamsburg

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Inspired by the post-election petitions to secede filed by some states, East Williamsburg has filed its own secession petition, asking the White House to "peacefully grant the neighborhood of East Williamsburg to secede from Williamsburg and create a new, hipper neighborhood." It reads:

The founding hipsters first arrived on Bedford Avenue two decades earlier convinced that the East Village was "overpriced" and that more generally, Manhattan was "so over." In recent years, the trustifarians have turned the Bedford Avenue area into a disneyland of fashionable shops and expensive cocktail bars. The baby-bankers living in the glass, waterfront towers have pushed out the smack junkies and complain to the police about "noise" from rock musicians.

As such, the grittier East Williamsburg would prefer to disassociate from Williamsburg as a fully separate and independent neighborhood. The people of East Williamsburg actually have real jobs. Their shops are not particularly fashionable. Some of the bars are genuinely dangerous dives. Please allow the neighborhood to secede.

Any petition that gets 25,000 signatures will be commented on by the White House. So far, East Williamsburg's petition has received...nine.
· The War Between the Nabes: East Williamsburg Wants to Secede! [Brokelyn]
· Official Petition [whitehouse.gov]