HGTV's Selling New York rides along with brokerages CORE, Gumley Haft Kleier and Warburg as they try to sell fabulous properties fabulously. Here's our recap of how the NYC real estate industry is portrayed to the world, penned by Molly Reisner. Episode air date: 2/16/2012.
NEED. APARTMENT. NOW-ISH! Time was mildly of the essence in last night's Selling New York, when two buyers bustled around town trying to hone in on a home. First, a broker helps a couple from Atlanta land an Upper East Side apartment. But with a home still for sale in the ATL, can they bring the bucks up north? Then, with one inning left in the baseball season, an agent assists the wife of the Oakland A's manager (MONEYBALL, PEOPLE!) in locating a downtown loft. Will she score a home run or get benched for the season? Aaaand, you're welcome for all my terrible puns. Boil up a Hebrew National, grab a brewskie, and munch on this recap stadium style!
CRISIS #1: BI-CITY COUPLE SEEKS TO REUNITE IN CHARMING UPPER EAST SIDE PAD
Sabrina Kleier-Morgenstern is happy?she gets to show buyer Debbie Pagano apartments in her fave nabe...the Upper East Side! The two ladies meet at Yura on Madison to discuss Deb's sitch, which is that her hubs just got transferred to NYC for a job. Deb's still living in Atlanta with their pooch and is trying to sell their house so she can move up here within the next few months. Her budget? A healthy $1.5 to $2 million.
First stop is 900 Park Avenue (or if you want to get Upper East Sidey, The Parc 900 Condominium). Shall we take a glance at this $2.445 million unit?
Spoiler: it's pretty snoozy.
Deb likes the location...and that's about it. The 14th floor is too high, the apartment's too modern, and she wants some charm gollydarn it!
Naturally all of this is discussed during a heated dance-off, dj'd by the jukebox:
Next, Sab takes Deb down the street to 785 Park Avenue to tour a $2.3 million pre-war property.
The classic decoration and the layout scream peachy keen to Deb's sensibilities. "I love it!" Deb gushes. But...because there has to be a but...Deb wants to sell her Atlanta home before buying in NYC. Sab gets thrown for a loopety with this news but bounces back with a practical suggestion: find a place that has a rent-to-buy option!
Liking that idea, Sab brings Deb and her man Grover (unfortch, not THE Grover from Sesame St.) to a $1.795 condo listing at 40 East 94th Street in Carnegie Hill.
Will this be the one?!?
Oooh, the coat rack is chained to the wall. So kinky!
Deb and Grover both like the space, and are anxious to live under one roof again. Awww.
Later, over scones at Sarabeth's, Sab has a load of good news/bad news to share with Deb. The bad? The sellers of 40 East 94th don't want to rent after all. The good news is that Sab scouted out a bunch of UES listings that are down with the rent-to-buy scenario. Deb says that she likes that idea so much, they've decided to offer the same option for their Atlanta house. Hmmm...if my landlord let me do that, I could own my place in just several decades!
I know you have burning questions about what happened with Deb's search. According to el update-o, many moons later Sab is still trying to find Deb the perfect pad. Guess that whole urgency to live in the same city has gone south of the Mason Dixon!
CRISIS #2: BASEBALL WIFE SCOUTS DOWNTOWN FOR DELUXE DUGOUT
CORE broker Kirk Rundhaug and buyer Kelley Melvin have a lunch date at sushi joint Haru.
Outside of the restaurant, they manage to completely ignore this caricature offer. OPEN YOUR EYES TO THE MAGIC OF YOUR CARTOON SELF!:
Kells, wife of Oakland A's manager (this is the Moneyball team!) Bob Melvin, has ditched her old agent and wants to sign on Kirk for TEAM FIND US A COOL DOWNTOWN APARTMENT. Right now, Kells is living in her daughter's 1 bedroom with her daughter there. It's like a sitcom waiting to happen! Or maybe it did happen and was so bad it never got past the pilot.
Bob will be returning Big Apple-side in a few weeks and she wants to secure a place before he arrives. With a budget of $2.5 million, somehow I don't think she'll have a problem.
Kells wants a Soho or Greenwich Village loft-like feel, which is why Kirk takes her first to...Tribeca? A $1.995 million spot at 68 Thomas Street is first on the list:
Kirk scores points for the industrial vibe, but Kells wants Soho or G'wich Village, mmm'k? Struuuu-ike! Next, Kirk brings Kells with her daughter Alexi in tow to a chic Soho unit selling for $2.595 million.
Drink in the luxurious bareness:
This zebra hide gives me the willies:
The loft makes Kells' heart sing and she doesn't want to lose it but...she thinks she should look at a few more juuust to make sure it's the right pick. Kirk doesn't want to push Kelly to buy, but is concerned she'll lose out if she waits too long.
Off K & K go to another contender at 252 7th Avenue (aka the Chelsea Mercantile) to peek at a $2.495 million 2 bed/2 bath abode:
The more Kells looks around, the more she wants the Soho locale. Soho "really feels like home to me," she shares. Time to make a bid! Kirk gives Bob a call pronto and advises him to give a low offer at first to gauge the seller's price.
Oooh, a counter offer of $2.475 million came in. Bob gets video chatted Jetson style with the news:
Kirk thinks an offer of $2.3 million is a fair comeback and Bob agrees. Which is good, because the offer was accepted! K & K celebrate the good news with some cheers'ing at Le Pescadeux:
Kirk gets the MVP treatment with a dinner invite at the Melvins' new Soho address. The update explains that the Melvins were so thrilled with their purchase, they've referred Kirk to friends. He's already picked up a new client from the deal. Go Captain Kirk!
Episode Grade: A dead-end search that gets stale and front row seats to a major league sale leave me ever so slightly buzzed with 2.5 cackling Kleiers.