Welcome back to The Brokerbabble Glossary, where we take a word or a turn of phrase that seems to show up in an unreasonable number of listings and decipher its true meaning. If you have any ideas for us, send them to the tipline. Today's word: Exquisite.
Edgar Allen Poe once wrote, "Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality." That is a very good example of how to use the word "exquisite." Here is a less good example: "This beautiful sprawling combination apartment has many exquisite possibilities to fulfill your personal living requirements." Even though brokers aren't as good at writing as Edgar Allen Poe, they still manage to use the word "exquisite" quite a lot to describe everything from detailing and landscaping to carved oak boiserie and, of course, possibilities.
More than a few bathrooms have managed to impress brokers as "exquisite." We're not quite sure what the criteria is in these cases. Perhaps "possesses both a toilet and sink" would be more appropriate. It's also worth noting that the exquisite bathroom on the right is not only exquisite but inviting as well. As if you needed an invitation to use the bathroom.
This lobby appears to be many things. "Large," for instance. Also, "containing a really big mural." You could even go so far as to say it's "ornate" or "grandiose" and we wouldn't complain. "Exquisite," however, used in this context, suggests something of rare excellence, a work of unparalleled craftsmanship and perfection, in which case...eh...not so much.
How could financials be exquisite, you ask? Well, what if they were written down by Yan Zhenqing, one of the two great masters of Tang calligraphy, using a feather from the ivory-billed woodpecker, the world's rarest bird, on the world's most expensive paper (whatever that is)? That sounds pretty exquisite, right? Unfortunately, considering the fact that Yan Zhenqing died in 785, "exquisite financials" probably means something along the lines of "no troubled loans."
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