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Decoded: The Most 'Serene' of Apartment Listings

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Welcome back to The Brokerbabble Glossary, where we take a word or a turn of phrase that seems to show up in an unreasonable number of listings and decipher its true meaning. If you have any ideas for us, send them to the tipline. Today's word: Serene.

New York City is often referred to as "the city that never sleeps," because when you're asleep you stop making noise and also smelling bad, and New York doesn't do that ever. It's also called the "concrete jungle where dreams are made of" because Alicia Keys is bad at grammar (she'd probably make a great broker) but that is neither here nor there. Indeed, serenity is hard to come by in The Big Apple...or is it? Considering that 356 listings on Streeteasy feature the word "serene" in one context or another, serenity might not be all that out of reach. For instance, although it's difficult to tell without gazing out over it ourselves, the "serene view" pictured above is probably very serene, especially in the summer when the leaves on the trees partially obstruct the view of the very serene Riverside Drive, with its serene cars speeding serenely by, making their serene car noises.

Assuming that the ceiling fan was rotating fairly slowly and the television on top of the dresser was turned off and the radiator, which really just looks like one of those way-too-noisy radiators, was not one of those noisy radiators...this bedroom certainly could be serene. The important thing to consider is that brokers are never really lying when they say an apartment is serene, because every apartment is serene when there's no one living in it.

This dramatic dining room flows so serenely into the living area that, if you didn't know better, you might think that the living area was simply a couch set up in the corner. You also might wonder how serene the living area could be when the dining room was being so dramatic all the time, and that would be a legitimate concern.

?Jeremiah Budin
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245 West 99th Street

245 West 99th Street, New York, NY 10025