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High Noon at Gramercy Park Over Dog Poop

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You've been warned guilty party! By your neighbor, who is sick of your pup-poop-enabling ways. Don't you know that this is why there are keys to Gramercy Park in the first place? Because Samuel B. Ruggles became so incensed at his neighbors' insistence on leaving their dog droppings in his flower beds that in 1831 he cordoned off two acres and forbade dogs from entering*. And now here you are poop scofflaw, not just failing to pick up your dogs droppings, but lifting the pooch into tree boxes to do his business. Have you no shame? One of your neighbors is ready to visit shame and disgrace upon you, because "[They] know who you are and where you live"! This neighbor is prepared to out you, and nobody likes a poop scofflaw. Just ask that poor Korean woman who let her dog poop on a train. It practically ruined her life. She is infamous and people call her Dog S*&t Girl, So clean up your act and your scat dog owner, before things turn really ugly in Gramercy this spring.
[*Not true at all]
· Dog Poo Girl [KnowYourMeme]