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Insects Invade NYC, No One Everyone Is Safe

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Last week it was a mosquito infestation on the Upper West Side; now the bees are making a move for control of the Financial District. Tourists in the South Street Seaport yesterday witnessed a five-pound swarm of bees congregate on a fire hydrant outside a Mexican restaurant. The tourists were, of course, delighted. "This is the classic New York experience I've been waiting for! Those bees are so rude!" The bees, which are suspected to have escaped from a nearby rooftop beekeeper, were vacuumed up a couple hours after their arrival by NYPD bee expert Anthony Planakis, because of course the NYPD has a bee expert. Do you think that guy has other duties in addition to being the bee expert, or has he just been sitting by the phone, special bee vacuum in hand, waiting for this very occurrence? An exciting day for him, in any case—he estimated that he got around 17,000 bees, including the queen. The bees, when asked for comment, said, "Bzzzz."