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Decoded: The Most 'Stately' of Apartment Listings

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Welcome back to The Brokerbabble Glossary, where we take a word or a turn of phrase that seems to show up in an unreasonable number of listings and decipher its true meaning. If you have any ideas for us, send them to the tipline. Today's word: Stately.

We're going to start this Brokerbabble Glossary off by directly addressing the broker responsible for the above listing. (If you are not that broker, please skip this section.)

Listen, bro (short for broker), we know you're just trying to make the neighborhood that your listing is in seem cool, but the United Nations does not need you to play up its “stateliness.” It’s the United Nations. “You’ll also have a view of the United Nations. You know, the stately one. Not that crappy United Nations in Geneva.” Maybe you meant stately in the sense that it has a lot of (nation) states? If that's the case, again, no need for you to mention it.

Stately is basically a fancy word for "really big," and most brokers know better than to describe actual apartments as stately. However, they love to use 'stately' to describe apartment buildings, which are, after all, usually pretty big. "This building is huuuge! And you can occupy .025% of it!"

The idea of stateliness seems antithetical to the idea of a den, which is supposed to be cozy. Would you say this room is more stately, or more of a den? And if it's statelier, what type of room is it really?

Nothing undermines delusions of stateliness like a good bunk bed.
· The Brokerbabble Glossary [Curbed]