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The Bees Are Nigh: Bee Threat Looms Over City

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Some of you may remember NYPD Bee Expert Anthony Planakis, who removed a swarm of 17,000 bees from a fire hydrant in the South Street Seaport just last weekend. At the time, we joked that a) everyone was safe, and b) as the NYPD's resident Bee Expert, Anthony Planakis must not have a whole lot to do. Turns out we were wrong on both counts. The NY Post published an article last night that reads like the trailer for a low-budget horror film. "It hasn't even started yet," said, you guessed it, NYPD Bee Expert Anthony Planakis, at which point a kettle drum began beating a low, ominous rhythm. "Within the next week," he continued, "we're going to be bombarded again."

Highlights from the rest of the article:

· Planakis again: “Everybody and their mother says they’re a fourth-generation beekeeper.” (But if your mother said she was a fourth-generation beekeeper, wouldn't you say you were a fifth generation beekeeper?)

· Happy Miller, the manager of the restaurant from last week's article: "It was a nightmare. It looked like a million bees flying over Fulton Street. Tourists were screaming.”

· Tim O'Neal, beekeeper: "Whenever I find a swarm in an odd location, I take it out with my bare hands."

· "Last week, police arrested a well-known apiarist in Bedford-Stuyvesant after he left his bees in a hot car — while teaching a beekeeping class. The insects gnawed their way out of their plastic casing and engulfed the sidewalk."

The camera pans up as the sky gradually darkens. A large, sinister cloud is gathering, but this doesn't look like any cloud he's ever seen before. And what's that buzzing noise? The cloud seems to be undulating, but that can't be right. Clouds don't undulate, unless... "Goddamn it," growls NYPD Bee Expert Anthony Planakis. "This was supposed to be my last day."
· New York’s beekeeping craze bringing dangerous swarms [Post]
· Swarm of 15,000 Bees Tries to Take Down Cipriani Wall Street [Eater NY]