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Decoded: The Most 'Immaculate' of Apartment Listings

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Welcome back to The Brokerbabble Glossary, where we take a word or a turn of phrase that seems to show up in an unreasonable number of listings and decipher its true meaning. If you have any ideas for us, send them to the tipline. Today's word: Immaculate.

It's tough to go right when using a word like immaculate, which means "containing no flaw or error," or, in other words, "completely and utterly perfect." One strategy is to aim low and use it to describe, say, a laundry room. How much does a laundry room really need to do be a perfect laundry room? Does it have walls? Does it have a floor? Does it have a garbage can for the gunk from the lint filter? (Remember to always clean out your lint filter.) Does it have a washing machine and a dryer? There you go. Immaculate. We kind of wish The Brevoort East (above) had included some pictures of said laundry room, but we'll take their word for it.

Just to be clear, the sculptures on these "sculptured grounds" appear to be two planters shaped like swans, so...yeah, we probably would have gone with 'immaculate' too.

Immaculate doesn't cut it! The word that means "unfathomably perfect" is not a good enough word to describe this one-bedroom condo in Williamsburg. In order to accurately convey the essence of its medium-sized living room and two windows, you need a word that is better than the best possible word. (In all fairness, this looks like a pretty nice apartment! We could definitely see it making an appearance in the Six Digit Club.)

What? How could this have happened twice? This makes no sense. And where are the pictures? We demand pictures of these immaculate laundry rooms!
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