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A Hipster's Guide to the Recession: Brooklyn's 10 Priciest Pads

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So, are you over Manhattan and looking to move to Brooklyn, but still planning to pay those big bucks? Since high apartment prices seem to be "in" this summer, it's time we extended this trend to the outer boroughs. (Our city-wide priciest list had a bit of a Manhattan bias, anyway.) Here now, the ten most expensive listings in Brooklyn. We've got clock towers, seven bedrooms, brownstones and a townhouse built for The Sims!

10) Address: 8381 Shore Road, Bay Ridge (above)
Asking Price: $4.7M
The Skinny: While the description of this listing suffers from a bad case of the CAPS LOCK, this five-bedroom, 4.5-bathroom family home is an 80s interior decorator's dream. Granite countertops, Jacuzzi baths and more for the family that wants to live 1987 all over again.


9) Address: 14 College Place, Brooklyn Heights
Asking Price: $5.2M
The Skinny: "CAN THIS BE LOVE?" reads the townhouse description. And the answer is "maybe." It's on a quiet block, has three bedrooms and 3.5 baths, and it's got a whole bunch of amenities, including an elevator and a cellar with "endless possibilities!"


8) Address: 189 Bridge Street PH18, Downtown Brooklyn
Asking Price: $5.9M
The Skinny: If you've always wanted to live inside of an Apple store, then here's your chance. Glass staircases, windows for days, but not iPads lying around. $5.9M gets you five bedrooms and five baths with marble and glass literally everywhere.


7) Address: 10 Strong Place, Cobble Hill
Asking Price: $5.95M
The Skinny: By looking at the photos, we're pretty sure someone is asking $5.95M for a house that was built in The Sims. It's going to have six bedrooms and five bathrooms, and it's looking for the perfect little Sim family to move in and jump up and down while exclaiming that they need to pee.


6) Address: 146 Willow Street, Brooklyn Heights
Asking Price: $6M
The Skinny: This one is listed as "vacant, ready for your gut reno!" With 7,800 square feet, you can build the home of your dreams for you and your hipster family to frolic about. Or you can just destroy the place, since apparently, demolition permits are in place.

5) Address: 680 Manhattan Avenue, Greenpoint
Asking Price: $7.4M
The Skinny: Sometimes we here at Curbed like a little adventure in our lives. So when we opened up the link to 680 Manhattan Ave and the description read as such, we were sold:

·"Massive building on the thriving border of Greenpoint and Williamsburg"
Hipsters! Gentrification! Torn between borders! Sign us up.
·"Just steps to McCarren Park"
Brutal lifeguard attacks! Toilet clogging! What danger to be near!
·"23 residential units?and cell tower."
Tons of space and awesome reception for when we want to Instagram the dangerous and lively going-ons around us.


4) Address: 36 Garden Place, Brooklyn Heights
Asking Price: $8.5M
The Skinny: "Oh hey, let's write an article about the most expensive listings in Brooklyn." "Good idea, look at this cool townhouse with 5 beds, 6.5 baths and gorgeous interiors." "Wow, what nice pictures. Oh, look, terrifying ghost girls in the corner of the dining room. Excuse us while we are never able to fall asleep ever again."


3) Address: 94 Hicks Street, Brooklyn Heights
Asking Price: $8.5M
The Skinny: If you're looking for a true-blue brownstone in Brooklyn, here's your chance. The building is being sold as a whole, and is currently configured as five different apartments, but the seller is encouraging a single-family conversion. How sweet of them. The house was built in 1868, and it has an awesome stoop you can sit on, play stickball near, or do other retro things our parents would tell us about while we ignored them and went on Facebook.


2) Address: 2134 Ocean Parkway, Gravesend
Asking Price: $10.75M
The Skinny: Have you ever thought to yourself, "I want to live in a cross between the 'American Horror Story' mansion and a gaudy, tasteless explosion"? Then 2134 Ocean Parkway is perfect. It's got marble for days, two staircases, and more gauche carpeting then you can shake a Dyson at. Even a recent $3.25M PriceChop hasn't gotten it sold.


1) Address: 1 Main Street PH, DUMBO
Asking Price: $19M
The Skinny: If buying a 7,000 square foot penthouse because it has four glass clock faces doesn't make it worth $19M, then we don't know what does. With ceiling heights from 16 to 50 feet, three bedrooms and 3.5 baths, this clock tower is your playground as you overlook Brooklyn and Manhattan. Sounds perfect for any evil villain looking to get away from it all. The price was reduced by $4.5M seven months ago.
?Robert Aquino
· What Recession? Here are NYC's 10 Most Expensive Listings [Curbed]