The Summer of Bees, it seems, has reached its logical conclusion. The bees, which at one point threatened to destroy everything we hold sacred, have been vanquished by one man: NYPD Bee Expert Anthony "Tony Bees" Planakis, who, like Han Solo at the end of the first Star Wars, now ascends the podium to collect his accolades from an indebted Galactic Alliance. After doing battle with the bees for almost two decades, Planakis has finally been promoted to detective and will be granted additional equipment, and—we promise we're not making this up—a bee-mobile. Curbed would like to offer our sincerest congratulations to Tony Bees.
Tony Bees was raised on a honey farm in upstate New York.* He was an only child, and he and his parents spent their days tending to their bees and collecting and jarring the honey to sell at a local market. It was a simple life, but a happy one. But then, one day, disaster struck. The bees revolted, killing both of Anthony's parents. However, the Bee Emperor took pity on the defenseless five-year-old Anthony and raised him as one of her own. For the next twenty years, Anthony lived as a bee, learning to sting, buzz, and make honey with his abdomen. He proved to be such a hard worker that he quickly rose up the ranks of the bee colony, eventually learning the Bee Emperor's terrible plot: to invade and destroy New York City in the summer of 2012. Torn between his bee and human identities, Anthony decided to forsake the colony that had been his home and fly to New York City, where he once again used his hard working-ness to quickly rise through the ranks of the NYPD, becoming the NYPD Bee Expert. When the Bee Emperor arrived, Anthony was ready for her. They fought a gruesome battle and when Tony emerged victorious, he had the Bee Emperor made into this necklace:
The Bee Emperor's first-born daughter and successor could not be reached for comment. Sources claim that she has fled the city, never to return...
*This is all completely made up, obviously.
· Tony Bees' greatest hits [Curbed]
· Sting operations [NYP]