The isn't the worst apartment we've seen in The Dakota—that distinction goes to the crushed velvet 1BR in the building's attic—but it's not all that far off. And, while that unit actually found a buyer a couple months ago, this one has sat forlornly on the market for seven years. During that time, the price has fallen from $19.5 million to $14.5 million but the decor, at least according to the listing photos, has remained unchanged. And that's a problem. "Four exposures but no direct Central Park view. 'The views are on the inside,'" the listing boasts, and, in a way, that's true. (We're not sure why the broker chose to put "The views are on the inside" in quotation marks, but, at the same time, we really are.) One room is painted black. Another matches mauve walls and ceiling with orange wall-to-wall carpeting. A bedroom features floral wallpaper and a mattress just plopped on top of the sickly yellow carpet. The listing, still live on Streeteasy, has disappeared from the Warburg site, either on purpose or because it had been up so long that it just expired.
On the plus side, though, there are six fireplaces.