It has been noted intermittently over the past few years that the once proud (okay, still proud, but once even prouder) River House is becoming something of a...how to put it...washed up old relic. A has-been. Showing signs of desperation. "Kind of pathetic." All this to say that it's not exactly big news that yet another River House co-op, #12B, has appeared on the market for $6.995 million. What is interesting, however, is that the apartment's owners, the Heaneys, who paid $5.2 million for the 4BR/4.5BA back in 2005, are both under the age of 40. How could such a young couple—they would have been 31 and 32, respectively, at the time of purchase—possibly have made it past River House's infamously snooty co-op board? After all, in the time period in which River House thinks it exists, its particular brand of luxury living would have been available to people under 40 only if they were, say, a young oil baron and his politically connected wife. Who are these people?
[Mrs. Heaney's] father ... was the finance chairman of the Republican National Committee from 1987 to 1992 ... [Mr. Heaney] owns ... an online fuel-oil exchange that he founded. Oh. Right.