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Do you have $9.5 million and want to live next door to Madonna (or at least next door to the mansion she kind of maybe lives in sometimes)? The 4,160-square-foot townhouse at 158 East 81st Street, which is adjacent to Madge's property, has hit the market. It has a 1,000-square-foot backyard and 4,188-square-feet of development rights. Even if the buyer doesn't want to expand, the place probably still needs work; there are no interior listing photos, and the facade and backyard look quite sad. [Commercial Observer; official listing]