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Whoever Knocked Over This Guy's Motorcycle Should Lay Low

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Greenpointers should know that there is a dangerous criminal on the loose in their neighborhood as the man or woman who recently knocked over a motorcycle in front of 101 Eagle Street is wanted by the police. Well, not by the police, per se, but by Tony, the owner of the motorcycle, who is very adept at copying and pasting the NYPD logo into the corners of homemade flyers. Long story short, Tony is pissed, and he is not going to sit idly by while criminals roam the streets, viciously knocking over his motorcycle and not paying for the damages. He's on a campaign for justice! Step one: have the person who knocked over the motorcycle call him. "You better call or message me ... before April 28th," he writes. Oh no! April 28th has already passed! What happens now? Tony will tell you what happens—he will track that criminal down himself and sue them, with the help of his trusty lawyer. (Tony has a lawyer, definitely.) And, if that's not enough, did you know that "hit and runs" are illegal? You do now, and so does Tony, because he copied and pasted a paragraph directly from Wikipedia onto the flyer. So get ready to go to jail, Hit and Run Bandit! The wheels of justice are in motion! Or, they would be in motion if you hadn't bent one of the axles when you knocked over that motorcycle. You'll pay for this!
· The Word On The Street, Part III: When Worlds Collide Edition [New York Shitty]
· Signs of the Times [Curbed]