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Million Dollar Listing New York S2E1: A New Dawn

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It's Season 2 of Million Dollar Listing New York, where three amazing brokers, Fredrik Eklund, Luis Ortiz, and Ryan Serhant show the world what it takes to sell high-priced New York City apartments. Check in each week for recaps by Eater New York's fearless nightlife editor Scott Solish. Episode air date: 5/8/2013.

Don't call it a comeback, but Million Dollar Listing New York is back for Season 2, and it's bigger and badder then ever. This season promises even more workout scenes, more expensive apartments, less duck walking, and more drama. What are we waiting for? Let's GO!

Crisis 1: A Marble Challenge
It's FREDRIK! Our favorite broker has returned and is doing more deals and being more outrageous while also being engaged to the love of his life. What could go wrong? Freddie starts out at a listing appointment at the American Express Carriage House, with a client who is not only the owner but also the designer and contractor of the one, the only, the Marrrrrble House! 9,000 square feet, 6 beds and 5.5 baths, a pool and all of that luscious marble. Even Fredrik is overwhelmed, and that ain't easy.

Easy there, big fella. You're engaged. Anyway, the seller wants to unload the place in 30 days and move on to another project, a deadline even Fredrik thinks could be a challenge. The O face agrees:

They shake hands on a listing price of $17.5 million and a one-month sales window. So Fredrik can't waste any time and gets right to the broker's open house, which attracts a big crowd. But guess who shows up? You guess it: Ryan. We smell manufactured for reality TV trouble.

What could possibly go wrong at a congenial open house? This:

Dirty dog. Fredrik is in overdrive trying to get a deal, but now before he can focus on the client, he needs to try and settle things with Ryan once and for all. How do you think it went?

Not that great. Fredrik finally tells Ryan to never come to his open houses ever again. BURN! But as for the listing, we will have to wait and see if he bags a deal next week.

Crisis 2: The New Guy

Hey, look, it's Luis Ortiz, the new Michael, except he's Puerto Rican and stylish with a wee bit more confidence. How will he fit in? Luis has just started at the oh-so-glamorous Keller Williams agency and is trying to get noticed. How's he going to do it? COLD CALLING! How quaint. It pays off when he gets a meeting with a buyer who came by one of his open houses a while back. And when you want to have a power meeting to woo a potential client, what better place is there in Manhattan to impress them than Stone Street!

The couple is intrigued when Luis promises to bring them off-market opportunities that fit their needs. But what are those needs? Luis starts to sweat when they tell them they are looking for a single family home in the West Village that is 25 feet wide and under $4 million. But since the customer is contractor and architect Adam Kushner, fixer uppers are A-OK! Can the new guy do it?

Maybe he can, because Luis gets a lead on a potential Minetta Lane townhouse that may be available, and he goes to check it out when the owners host party the next night. The place is a bit wacky, and it seems perfect for his client and right in their price range?if Luis can convince the owner to sell. What will it take to make this deal go down?

Adam and his wife are ready to make an offer at full ask, but the seller decides that the couple is a bit too eager and tries to squeeze Luis to get more out of them.

It sure is, honey. But like the Marble House, we have to wait until next week to find out what happens. (Or?spoiler alert?check out the Curbed archives.)

Crisis 3: Expanding Always in All Ways
Is any name more synonymous with straight balling than Ryan Serhant? Don't answer that. But thank the lord he is back in our lives. And rather than starting off small, Ryan heads right to the penthouse of the Park Imperial to meet with the owner to try and wrangle a listing. You know the building. The owner has owned the apartment forever and never lived in it or rented it, but now is apparently the time and try and move it. The major selling point: it is packing a killer view!

The seller has been looking for $8.5 millionfor two years and two dozen brokers and won't budge, even though no one wants it at that price. But Ryan has a crazy idea to raise the price, which causes his potential client to spasm violently.

That's right, bro. We're going to raise the price. With that kind of Serhantism, he's got the listing. And now to really build up the sizzle, Ryan decides to throw an invite-only Masquerade Ball for some of the top brokers in NYC. Is there any other kind? Ryan also lets us know he has a new assistant that he will be sexually harassing this year, and of course they go shopping for the ball together.

Purrrrrfect. And even before this shindig, the adjacent owner schedules a private viewing to discuss combining the units. Even though the buyer's broker sees through Ryan's scheme immediately, Sir Hant ain't trying to hear all that. Why? Because the masquerade ball hasn't even happened yet. When it does happen, it is over the top ridiculous. But you know who comes? The neighbor's broker, Oren (aka Lil' Shvo 2.0). And when he sees all those people, he knows his client may lose out on an expansion.

The week after the party, while Ryan is harassing his new assistant over a salad, Oren gives Ryan a call and makes an offer of $7 million. That's way below the listing price, but an offer is an offer, so Ryan calls the client. He comes down to $8 million, and Ryan and Oren hash it out backstage at a fashion show they are both walking in. (Of course.) Oren comes back to $7.25 million, but Ryan knows that's not going to get it done. He brings the offer to the seller, who says $7.75 million and not a penny less. Will it happen? It's a deal! SERHANT, YOU SLY DOG.

We head to episode 2 with a sale in the bag and the promise of oh so much more.
· Official site: Million Dollar Listing [Bravo]
· Million Dollar Listing New York coverage [Curbed NY]

The Marble House

60 Collister Street, New York, NY