This photo of Inn New York City is courtesy of TripAdvisor
Among our favorite sites for the most awesomely bad New York City hotel reviews are TripAdvisor, Foursquare, and Yelp. Given the barely comprehensible grammar and syntax in some of the writeups, it's not surprising that the photography is, oftentimes, even worse than the semi-coherent descriptions. The delightful, oh-so-telling capture above comes to us from TripAdvisor's page on Inn New York City, which is actually the top-ranked "romantic hotel" in the city. Its official hotel-babble describes it as an Upper West Side "restored 19th century townhouse... the ultimate in romance and exclusivity. Behind an unassuming and discreet facade are four sumptuous suites, each a masterpiece of architectural artistry." We get that the fireplace by the hot tub/Jacuzzi-type thing is supposed to be atmospheric, but clueless poster, your picture is dark. Maybe that set the mood for you, but folks staring at it, all bewildered like, wondering if they should book that hotel for their next lustful getaway, are just gonna be, well, in the dark.
Another one of our favorites from lovebird hideaway Inn New York City:
This photo of Inn New York City is courtesy of TripAdvisor
Now, you're going to have to find someone to teach you how to make photos do a little thing called rotate when you upload them. Also, a tissue dispenser embedded in the door? That made your stay? We could tape a Kleenex box to the door with the same result. This is crossing the line from technical ineptitude into just plain bad judgement.
Next up, we checked out Foursquare reviews of the lauded Hudson Hotel. Deemed an iconic and essential place to stay, most of the shots, especially of the lush and verdant Sky Terrace, are beautiful (and heavily Instagrammed, which helps). But then we came across this gem:
When most folks are taking filtered, saturated photos of chandeliers dripping with crystals, the one of a dim, creepy, mental-hospital-evoking hallway with lime green doors is just a little bit jarring.
We next checked out the Distrikt Hotel on Yelp, which is among the highest rated in the city (Yelp star-wise, so do with that what you will), and found a couple of odd shots there. First, a corner of the elevator:
Next, the lobby's lighting fixtures:
So, on net, we have two main thoughts for these reviewers. 1) We get that you're trying to show us that New York City neighborhoods and locales are plastered throughout the hotel, hence it's name, even though we still can't really figure out where the Germanic "k" comes from. But let's try to focus, especially when there are words to be read in the photograph. 2) Even though the lighting may look really, really cool, unless your camera or phone is on some special setting, it's going to come out looking like crap. It just is, people.
Lastly, we scoped out the TripAdvisor reviews for one of the most highly rated business hotels in the city, Hotel Giraffe on Park Avenue South. We found a selfie, and guffawed. One piece of advice, all selfie lovers?photos of yourself, and bad ones at that, don't help us figure out whether or not to stay at a hotel. Neither do dimly lit shots of signage against a brick wall. Irrelevant! Remember that for your next review, okay?
· All Bad Hotel Reviews Power Hour posts [Curbed]
· All Hotels Week 2013 coverage [Curbed]
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