Many of New York's trendiest hotels also happen to be some of the most beloved hotels, but just like snake print pants aren't for everyone, the city's most of-the-moment hotels can't win over every guest. One overseas visitor described Williamsburg's crown jewel as "suicidally pretentious," while a guest from Massachusetts thought a NoMad neighborhood gamechanger was little more than a "poorly thought-out shoebox." Culled from TripAdvisor, we bring you some terrible reviews of the city's most popular hotels.
The Wythe Hotel in Williamsburg:
From London, stayed January 2013, the review is titled GHASTLY: "If suicidally pretentious is what you are looking for, then this is the hotel for you. [...] We had no problem that they dont do room service - strange but fair enough. But what is absolutely unaccepable is that they have no take out service from their restaurant - only coffee. On Morning 1, I begged them to put a bit of lemon bar in a box to take out, and they grudgingly did. But ask them if you can take to your room some oatmeal or - perish the thought - toast, and you get a look that tells you that you are just Trash. So if you want take out breakfast, you have to ask directions from Reception, who send you out in the January snow like Oliver Twist looking for his gruel."
From 'overseas', stayed June 2013: "This hotel and it's staff are convinced that they are so cool they don't have to worry too much about the trivial matter of customer service. [...] The beds were comfortable but perhaps there were too many hard surfaces and thin walls so we were irritated by the should of neighbors washrooms and televisions. On top of all the noise issues we were constantly woken by the very noisy air conditioning unit which made a terrible industrial noise."
From Ohio, stayed May 2012, the review is title "Any insulation in the walls?": "It was sort of shocking that the sound infiltration was so bad. From raising blinds, to coughing, the normal adjacent room sounds were unusually loud. It was like being in a really really bad Super 8. Our experience was that it sounds like there is no insulation in the walls. At all. Rather a miserable experience overall."
The Ace Hotel in NoMad:
From Massachusetts, stayed April 2012, the review is titled "You can't hide a ripoff with trendiness":"I can't believe I just made my company pay $450 to stay in a poorly thought out shoebox. The rooms in this hotel are fundamentally tiny and poorly designed so despite all the nice artsy touches it is not worth the ridiculous charge."
From London, stayed December 2011: "For fashion victims that don't understand value or quality and are prepared to pay through the nose for comparative rubbish [...] Seriously, I don't get all the good reviews. Judging by the amount of time the staff seem to be surfing the net, I would't be surprised if they hadnt written a number of the reviews. [...] The furniture looks more like it was stolen from some college dorm."
From London, stayed April 2011: "Pound for pound, the worst hotel I've ever stayed in. [...] Avoid the rooms looking inwards to the well of the building. They are just larger than the bed, are coal-mine dark even in mid summer and only have views of other unfortunate guests' windows, have black carpets, black doors, black desk, black window frames, a black wall and in my case, a large mural of a dripping black flower, or a line from some laughable 6th form poetry on the other, the only thing not painted black. Like an emo student digs nightmare."
The Standard in the Meatpacking District:
From Minneapolis, stayed December 2012: "This is a nightclub that rents rooms out. [...] The front desk did nothing, [there were] women dressed for the club asking me if i was was a guest and 'did I have a job?' [...] but the used condom in the elevator pushed me over the edge."
From Connecticut, stayed April 2013: "We were given a dirty room, with fecal matter still in the toilet from a previous guest. When we complained we were promised a bottle of white wine but it was never delivered. In the morning we had no hot water. Our compensation for thie as a credit of $150 off our bill. So still we had to pay $350 for a room with a dirty toilet and no hot water."
From Los Angeles, stayed August 2012: "What a mistake and huge disappointment, tiny room, filthy carpets and an air conditioning duct that can only be described as "Third World" full of mould. This surely has to be a health hazard of the highest order and an inspection by New York Health Officials is in order before someone gets sick... [...] General attitude from staff very, very poor, with most of them transfixed by a deluded notion that they are somehow uber cool."
From California, stayed 2012 (review from Yelp): "The service was terrible. The person checking me in got super snotty with me, the service in my room was awful and this place is overpriced. The only redeeming quality was the bathroom as it was large, but it was a shower only... so even then I wasn't thrilled."
The Thompson LES in the Lower East Side:
From California, stayed 2013: "The desk clerks and bellboys...were haughty, unfriendly, dismissive, and condescending. It was like being in an episode of Portlandia. Hipster hell.
From NYC, stayed July 2012: "By far the smallest that I have ever stayed in (and I have stayed in numerous boutique hotels in NYC and elsewhere and know what to expect) and... Directly above the 7th floor lounge, offering thumping music well into the night, allowing me to forget the onset of claustrophobia and concentrate instead on the decibel-shattering bachelorette party happening 5 feet below my questionably queen-sized bed."
· TripAdvisor.com [official]
· All Hotels Week 2013 [Curbed]
Lead photo by bitnoots/Curbed Flickr pool