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Million Dollar Listing New York S2E8: The Hustle!

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It's Season 2 of Million Dollar Listing New York, where three amazing brokers, Fredrik Eklund, Luis Ortiz, and Ryan Serhant, show the world what it takes to sell high-priced New York City apartments. Check in each week for recaps by Eater New York's fearless nightlife editor Scott Solish. Episode air date: 6/26/2013.

Crisis 1: Sink or Swim
When we last left Ryan Serhant, NestSeeker's numero uno had fallen victim to the Moscow Mule, when Sergei the broker leveraged his verbal deal for Ryan's One Beacon Court listing to get an even better deal two floors up in the same building. To make matters worse, Ryan's client Mark is going to go medieval on his ass for botching the deal and as payback for some fraternity hazing in their Kai Gamma Dbag days. Ryan is worried.

The assistant looks worried, too! Will Ryan take this out on her, or maybe even amp up the sexual innuendo to help calm his nerves? The tension! Ryan calls Mark, hoping to get his voicemail and deliver the bad news, but too bad?Mark picks up. Ryan has a heavy heart.

Mark is obviously not happy, telling Ryan that it's not just his ass on the line, it's Mark's ass, too. If you do the math, that's two asses for one apartment. Good thing the listing is a two-bedroom. Ryan pinky swears that he will fix this and gets right on the horn with all of the other brokers from the international open house to see if they have anyone who may be able to step into Sergei's empty shoes. It turns out that Michelle just might, repping a wealthy buyer from Venezuela who loved the unit but wasn't too pleased with the price. Ryan convinces her to come back for another looksie.

The only issue is that the client is still in Venezuela, so they have to do it by Skype. Ryan is totally OK with that, and even prints out some Wikipedia information on this strange land called Venezuela and decides to dress the part.

That seems more southern Spain than Central American and all of this schtick rubs the buyer the wrong way, even over Skype. Despite the shenanigans, Ryan gets an offer of $6.9 million, all cash. Will Mark and his client go for it? Yes! Ryan runs back in to tell Michelle the great news and consummate the deal with an awkward kiss.

What a reversal for Ryan! But before Mark signs off, there is just one more thing he needs Ryan to do.

Oh, boys.

Crisis 2: Making It Happen, Fast!
Fredrik is looking to score some green junk for his green tea fix when he gets a call from Edmund, his client and the developer of 111 Mercer. Fredrik had convinced him to splurge on some finishes so he could break some sales records for Soho, and now Edmund wants results. Fredrik is a bit stunned.

Fredrik may be a listing machine, but breaking records takes time. Fredrik also knows just what his masters want to hear, so he promises to get right on it by calling each broker from the open house and having them bring in a real buyer to get something done. But first, he has to close another deal in his personal life with his fiance Derrick, who balks over Fredrik's request for a pre-nup. Fredrik tries to close the deal, but it's Derrick who comes out on top.

So cute. Now it's back to 111 Mercer bidness. Fredrik sets up a meeting with a broker who tells him that she is going to come in with an offer. Fredrik is ready to celebrate even before hearing anything, and orders up some lobster and champagne. The only thing is he has never really eaten a whole lobster before.

Ha. Anyway, the California buyer is prepared to offer $4 million, well below the $4.4 million that Fredrik has promised Edmund. Our lobster loving Swede is not pleased.

The broker starts trying to game Fredrik, threatening that her client is ready to walk away.

Walk away from what? The offer that wasn't accepted? Lunch? That strategy is real head scratcher. But since Fredrik is desperate, he decides he needs to re-engage, Fredrik style. He picks her up on a bicycle built for two to show her why this apartment is the place for her clients compared to what's out there in the rest of the neighborhood.

And it works, or the broker doesn't want any more tandem bike rides, because the buyers come back at full ask. SWEDISH MEATBALL TIME!

Crisis 3: So Are You A Shampion?
Luis has been in a downward spiral since Jasmit fired him, Fredrik embarrassed him, and his new client Mari told him he was no shampion after he advised her to cut her listing price at 54 Pine. Can he recover? Apparently he can, because the price drop has led to increased interest in the apartment.

Luis loves to tell people that 54 Pine, with its exposed brick and vaulted ceilings, is just like the West Village except in the FiDi. We're beginning to think Luis has never been to the West Village. His awkward showing style is still in full effect.

That's a pretty good line, but his used car salesman schtick is tough to take, especially 8 weeks in. Despite Luis's "charm" ( or maybe because of it?), an offer is going to come in. Time for a hand rub.

And what's even better is that he gets a second offer at full ask just a day after the first one comes in. He rushes to tell Mari the great news.

Shampion! Luis recommends that they try to squeeze a little bit more out of the buyers by creating a bidding war, but warns Mari that it is a risk. She doesn't care?she wants more out of her shampion. Luis goes to call the first bidder and tells the broker to come up $30,000 if they want the apartment. But the tactic blows up in his face and the other broker, Neil, tells Luis that his buyers are withdrawing their offer. Ouch.

But guess what? The second bidder comes up to $1.325 million, just pennies below the original ask. The Shampion did it! Salud! And Luis gets an extra special surprise, a visit from his parents from Puerto Rico, who are overjoyed to see him doing so well after a big sale.

Three deals this week, one for everyone! Let's all celebrate with a glass of glug.
· Official site: Million Dollar Listing [Bravo]
· Million Dollar Listing New York coverage [Curbed NY]

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