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Million Dollar Listing New York S2E12: Saying Goodbye

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It's Season 2 of Million Dollar Listing New York, where three amazing brokers, Fredrik Eklund, Luis Ortiz, and Ryan Serhant, show the world what it takes to sell high-priced New York City apartments. Check in each week for recaps by Eater New York's fearless nightlife editor Scott Solish. Episode air date: 7/31/2013.

Crisis 1: Moving On Up
Ryan Serhant has had a big year, so he has decided to take some of his earnings and move to a nicer place. He has his brother come down to help and also plot his revenge against Fredrik over their sour deal at 250 Bowery. Big Bro tells Ryan to just forget about it and be a bigger man, but Ryan is no big man. He wants revenge.

First, though, his evil plans get sidetracked by a new listing on the Upper West Side for a three-unit combination at 61 West 62nd street. It's a real doozy:

Ryan finds it playful. Everyone else finds it creepy, which is probably why it's been pricechopped so many times. That's why its Serhant time, folks. Ryan thinks it could be a $5 million apartment if it weren't for all of the customizations, but as-is, it's only worth llisting it for $3.95 million. Game on.

Ryan decides to hire some underwear models for a Real Estate Porn open house at the unit and tells his assistant to bring a projector and a screen and make sure Fredrik shows up. She is concerned over Ryan's plans.

What are Ryan's plans? Let's get to the open house and find out! The underwear models are here.

Classy. Then things get really classy when Fredrik and Derek show up and Ryan goes into a pre-screening rant about how this apartment called for something truly special.

Fredrik is more than just a bit nervous. Derek seems excited.

Let's watch the chaos unfold!

BURN! Serhant, you dog! What a move! And then he rubs it in by telling Fredrik that he could have ruined him, but his American integrity kept him from doing it. Fredrik is shaken up, and Ryan got his revenge. As for the sale, well, who really cares at this point, but Ryan did get the deal. And he is vowing to come back a meaner, more ruthless Ryan than ever before.

Crisis 2: TRUMPIN
Fredrik is back from his wedding and has big news?he sold out 250 Bowery! SWEDISH MEATBALL CITY! Now he is off to the biggest meeting of his life at Trump Soho, which he calls the best condo hotel in all of Soho. Is there a lot of competition?

Fredrik meets with Gavriel and gets a tour of the unit, a standard one-bedroom on a high floor.

They want $1.65 million for it, which is a steal as long as you don't mind paying that much for a temporary residence that you can only stay in a certain number of days each month and year. Fredrik thinks his international buyers will love it and wants to take on every remaining unit. Not so fast, sir. Trump and his henchman are only offering you this one listing. Fredrik is perplexed.

He sells one unit in his sleep. What is this all about? Still, Fredrik plays the long game and takes the listing, knowing there may be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. A Trump Rainbow.

Before Fredrik gets started, he gets a three-second meeting with Trump himself on the street.

This building has been kicking around for so long with such little success that this seems like a big waste of Fredrik's time, but hey, it's his life. He has a big party and starts bringing clients down to the unit, where they learn they can't change the furniture and they can only leave a few things in a closet at a time. And it's tiny. But Fredrik thinks an old client, Andreas, may be interested.

Andreas actually loves the unit and makes an offer of $1.3 million, but the Trump team rejects it flatly, saying they refuse to go below $2000 psf, which is almost $1.6 million. Fredrik wants this deal and goes back to get Andreas up. It doesn't work.

He offers $1.45 million and not a penny more. Fredrik starts to sweat. Will Trump fire him because he can't sell a unit in the finest condo hotel in Soho for those unreasonable prices? He tells Gavriel the offer and Gavriel isn't impressed.

He tells Fredrik they can do the deal at $1.5 million and move on...or they have to cut this buyer loose. Fredrik goes back to Andreas and he takes the deal at $1.5. SWEDISH MEATBALL TIME! Now Fredrik gets the whole building!

Crisis 3: Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Your Listing

Luis is ready to make big things happen at his expertly staged listing at 165 Charles Street, starting with an open house. A good guess that the Shampion won't be licking any walls tonight. But nor is this an ordinary open house. That's why Luis invited these two.

They are matchmakers who will be bringing their own customers to pair with the successful single men Luis thinks will want to buy this unit. How can this not work? Luis gets a packed house and is expecting a big offer to come rolling in very soon. But for all of his effort, he only gets one follow-up showing. The buyer brings his architect in to look at adding a third bedroom. Now, Luis has to wait and see if an offer comes.

The buyer, Sergio, does come back?but only to point out all of the parts of the apartment he would want to change. He is ready to lowball.

Luis tries to tell him that despite his criticisms, the price is the price. Sergio offers $5.9 million and Luis waits for feedback from the seller. He gets the green light to negotiate to $6.1 million, and the Shampion is ready to pounce. Sergio tries to squeeze another $100,000 from Luis, but the guy is a rock and they seal the deal at $6.1 million.

Attention, starchitects?Luis is ready to close your deals. But before he goes rolling off into the sun, Fredrik asks Luis to get together to clear the air. Fredrik wants to apologize for his actions on Lispenard, a memory so painful that Luis almost starts shaking.

Aw! And with that, it's all over. Thanks for tuning in and reading our recaps, and we'll see y'all next season.
· Official site: Million Dollar Listing [Bravo]
· Million Dollar Listing New York coverage [Curbed NY]

165 Charles Street

165 Charles Street, New York, NY 10014

250 Bowery

250 Bowery, New York, NY 10012

Trump Soho

246 Spring Street, New York, NY 10013